I've been in an inexplicably ever-present, sarcastic cloud lately. I don't like not being my usually manic self.  "It don't sit right with me, Lois!"  *breathes*

I find myself at the inception of summer, being fiercly annoyed by cat callers and solicitors on the bus stop in the morning as I try to prepare myself mentally for the work day ahead.  There is this stalkeresque guy who rides the same bus as I most mornings and stares- but never speaks.  Whell, he finally got up the nerve to hand me a note saying, "I think you are very pretty, please call me."  I guess in all his gawking he didn't bother to look at my ring finger. YA THINK?

Then there are the Latino men on my block with the libidos from Hell. Really, how many prostitutes you know wait on the bus stop holding a bus pass and a briefcase?!?! NONE!!  So why, then, do they pull up, roll down the window and make stupid "ven aqui" faces at me?  What, you think I'm gonna be all: "Oh, I was going to go to work so I can feed my kids, but since you pulled up, offered me money to sleep with you and did the eyebrow cha-cha...hey!"  

Ev'ry morning the same shiite.

I guess I should stop complaining and be grateful that men find me attractive, huh...

Getthafugouttahea.

Woosah...

So, today is Gwensday (I started writing this on Monday) and I'm in better spirits.  Guess I just needed to vent and relax.  I haven't been able to quit smoking, somewhat much to my dismay, but I have to do one thing at a time. Besides, I rather enjoy it.  I guess that's the point, huh. :( 

This past weekend, I went to the salon down the street for a masage and facial ( Foe $50!!  A steal!) and the lady gave me a Lipton diet green tea to drink afterwards, so add that to my list of new addictions.  I'm really trying to be healthier, but I find a hard time being consistent.  In the wake of the deaths of so many of my family members (most of which were not health related), there is a constsnt internal struggle between wanting to enjoy life as it come and wanting to improve...you know, so I can extend it.  Da irony!!

Guess I have some more meditating/soul searching to do so I can figure out what the hell it is I really want, yah?

Any suggestions for a mantra?