So, I've been thinking way too much about my own life lately, as always.
A girl I fancy has recently gotten back with her ex, or so the rumour goes. Maybe not the only girl I'm into, but it does bring to mind the fact that I had plenty of shots and took none of them.
The obvious answer was my crippling fear of rejection. I've heard "no" from girls' lips far too often that I can't even ask the question unless some force has told me beforehand that the answer is yes.
I haven't actually asked a girl out since 2005. She said yes, for what it's worth, but the deal fell through, only adding to my paranoia.*
*Of course, I actually DID recently ask a girl out, and she said sure, but needed a raincheck. I'll count it when I'm actually sitting with her over drinks.
It's ridiculous. I can chat up girls at parties when I know I won't see them again, no problem. I'm not a social retard. I'm just motherfucking insecure. Somewhere along the way, someone did a number on me.
True story: First time I told a girl I liked her, in Grade 5, she ran off crying. Didn't really set a good tone for all that was to follow.
I'm just kind of an irreparable fuckup. I just need the kind of girl who would be forward enough to take action.
I'm rambling. I need a drink. Good night blog world.
KOR-Scotto
moldy hair guy
