."It'll be as good as new... And I won't burn it down this time."

.Inspired by one of the most recent entries of Miss Wendy, or PUSSYPATTER , about the evils of the muslim population, I've decided to voice my own opinion about the undesirables reeking havoc in this great and truly perfect land of America. You were right Wendy. The muslims do have to go. But there are others that must go as well. These are the people who dishonor the name of the great red, white and blue and take the pride away from senile veterans. These are the untouchables. Those no true American would ever want to cast their gaze upon.

.First, we should kick out the homosexuals. They're so disgusting. They'll give us all AIDS and rape our sons on boy scout trips. All they care about is sex and drugs. If they won't let us fix them with shock therapy, why not just kick them out? Then they won't be here to influence our own children into choosing such a lowly path. Because it IS a choice.

.Then we should boot the Asians. Sure, they did a great job working slave labor on the trains in the 1800s, but since then they've caused nothing but trouble. They poison us with MSG. Their relatives take our jobs overseas. And, honestly, I'm always afraid they're going to take my imaginary daughter and put her in the white slave trade. To think... white slaves. How ludicrous! And, like grandpa says, we should blame all Asians for the Pearl Harbor disaster, because they're really all the same.

.After the Asians, those darn blacks have to go. They commit all of the crimes in America. The news tells me they do, so it must be true! I've started paying my water bill online so I didn't have to go near their part of town. I swear, I can't drive over there without hearing that rap music. That's all those blacks listen to. Nothing but a bunch of hoodlums. Everyone knows that.

.After the colored people, the jews are next. Oh the jews... first they killed Jesus, then they gyp me in the furniture store. What cheapskates... They have so much money piled away, yet never give to the poor. I feel dirty just standing next to them. Most problems in the world can be blamed on the jews. If only they would turn from their sinful ways and become good Christians. It's the American way.

.After those Jesus killers, the Mexicans must leave. They're all here illegally, you know. Every last one of them. They're taking our jobs! Of course, they're the jobs none of us really want. But I want a chance to reject that occupation before they take the opportunity away from me! I feel like I need to be bilingual to get my house cleaned or my lawn mowed.

.Speaking of immigrants, all other immigrants are nuisances as well. I want to be able to ride in a cab or purchase a fluoroide-full bottle of water from the local quickie mart without the need of a translator. It's thoroughly irritating.

.As far as irritants go, liberals are just that. Why should people be open-minded? Why would anyone want to think for themselves or make their own decisions? Freedom of religion? Separation of Church and State!? Apparently they didn't realize that America is a Christian theocracy with the president as head of The Church. Silly liberals. So uninformed. They're just a bunch of godless hippies who do nothing but drugs and eachother.

.Really, I'm trying hard to remember everyone that should be evicted from the country. I said the blacks didn't I? Good. They really need to go. And Marilyn Manson. And prostitutes. And Mormons. And women who wear white after Labor Day... or brown and black anytime. And Margie, the president of my imaginary son's school's PTA. And... let's see... you. Yes. Above everyone else, you must go.

.The Americans are coming for you.

.Watch out.