."I only ask for a lover who will not speak but smile."

.People do dumb things... like me this morning. I totally didn't notice that the light was red and pulled out in front of someone. It's a miracle from God--and yes, I honestly believe that it's a miracle--that I wasn't in a horrifying car accident. I was so close to a car accident that my OCD mind was worried that I had actually had a very minor car accident and simply didn't notice. After seeing that there wasn't even a mark on my car and remembering there had been no sound, I slapped myself and got over it. I had been feeling pretty bad about it this morning--convincing myself I had been involved in an imaginary hit-and-run--when the pastor of my church made me feel a lot better by giving me something at which to laugh.

.Today's sermon was on sin. Sin isn't funny. My personal feeling on sin is that it mostly exists for simply logical reasons (i.e. logically one shouldn't cheat on one's wife because it brings about emotional distress, etc.). I actually don't see any other reason. I mean, it doesn't make sense for sin to exist for any other purpose. Why else would God say, "Uhh... just don't do those things... I don't like it for some unknown reason... Yeah... Don't..."

.The thing that was so funny about the sermon is that it brought up the idea of punishment on Earth for our sins. Christians--THIS IS LUDICROUS AND COMPLETELY AGAINST THE BIBLE. The Bible talks about judgment after death for the things we did wrong (which I personally think may just be a shove in the right direction through fear and not a literal judgment). Anyway, when someone starts talking about people being punished by God during life, it just doesn't make sense. Yes, there are consequences for our actions. That's part of the reason I see sin as an issue of logic. But God isn't going to rain fire on you for sinning. That's dumb.

.The pastor began to use the example that for every cause there is an effect. If you see an effect, it had to have a cause; therefore, if you are experiencing judgment, you've been sinning. After he said this, I actually found myself saying aloud, "What?" It was just too stupid to believe. Hasn't he read Job? Job worried that he had done something wrong because of all the bad things happening to him, but he had actually done nothing. I was just waiting for the pastor to say hurricane Katrina was a punishment to New Orleans and AIDS is judgment for homosexuals, heroin addicts, hemophiliacs... and pretty much the entire continent of Africa.

.The thing that really made my day was when he started talking about Ted Haggard. "Pastor Tim" began talking about how sometimes our sins are exposed to the public and embarrass us. That is judgment, he told us. He used the example of Ted Haggard. He was a pastor and the leader of the National Association of Evangelicals. He preached against homosexuality and condemned it as wrong. He was later found to be homosexual himself--frequenting a gay prostitute--and using drugs. Our pastor told us that a lot of people like to laugh about him. Non-Christians like to say, "Look at that phony!" He said that Haggard makes people like him, along with other Christians, look bad. You see, Tim totally missed the mark here. People don't make fun of Ted Haggard because he was a phony--people make fun of him because it's highly ironic. When someone condemns something before being shown to do it for one's self is hilarious. Hypocrisy. Homosexuals everywhere were rolling in the aisles of the world theatre.

.On top of all of this, it was his sermon for MOTHER'S DAY. WTF.

.Anyway, if you leave my blog with anything today, leave knowing this: when bad things happen to you, don't first blame it on God. It's probably just nature or the luck of the draw. Also, don't persecute homosexuals, or you'll probably end up being one yourself.