mindsay
I think also maybe you're dooming yourself, or just worry accurately - like if you expect to end up in a psychiactric ward, it's something that your mind can drive itself into achieving. Sometimes what I worry is what happens, it's as if people pick up on this and try to make it come true, maybe that's because I need to confront my worries.
Don't be so quick to condemn yourself as crazy, awright?
I never wished or doomed myself to end up being in a psychiatric ward. I just knew it was going to happen. With everything that's ever happened to me, it seemed only proper. As much as I've tried to delay it, it is inevitable. Honestly it's the last place I'd ever want to be.
It is strange though how our worst fears can become more likely to happen - it's like when I'm cycling and trying not to hit the kerb, that's exactly what I do in the confusion. Sometimes people can see also when somethings an issue to you by trying to avoid it, and some gain sadistic pleasure out of harassing people over it
Just seeing how it's all going. I emailed you as well.
Well, you're not losing your mind. You've never said anything that made me think that's happening. As for the strange thoughts, well, they're just thoughts. I expect you're pretty stressed just now, so perhaps there's more of that sort of thing happening - that's how it goes with me anyway. But if I have thoughts in my mind that I'd rather not have, it doesn't mean I'm weird, or crazy, or a bad person, or inferior, or hateful or any of that stuff. There's no connection. The thoughts are just thrown up by the stuff that troubles you - they're not truly a part of who you are. Does that help? Hope so.
As for being in hell - forget it, it's just another thought. You're in the same world as me, and I like that. Remember, keep your stress down. Do easy things as much as possible. Please tell me how things are.
Your buddy, Ian (Sorry, the smileys don't work tonight.)