I just needed to sort this all out. I wrote this, and couldn’t help but wonder what one might think of me after reading it.

I have a lot of secrets.  I am not a.. good girl that people, more, my family, perceive me to be. I find myself always wondering what they would think if they knew what I’m like.  I always want what I can’t have. I lust. I like sex.  I explain to girls how to give good blow jobs.  I like keeping guys hooked on. 
I’ll tell my best friend something I find extremely sexy, like having sex with a man twice my age and she gasps, “molly! You’re so dirty!” and I can’t help but smile.
Is this wrong? Is it wicked that I crave things that I know are wrong?  More, does it make me a bad person? I’d say no. My morals are in line.. For the most part. I suffer from a lack of self esteem, yes, but that’s from something entirely different. I’m not out there offering my body to different guys.  I don’t think I’m a bad person for it. I’d never go out and hook up with a married man.  I’d never mislead a guy with deceiving actions.
I can’t reveal this part to me to many people.  I’m just.. Full of secrets.  I’m full of desires and I guess I have no way to express them yet. 
I’m not a slut. Don’t get me wrong. Hell, I haven’t even had sex in a while.
I guess.. I just needed to get that out.
This is one of the many reasons I think they got my age wrong.

I’m not an awful person for thinking..feeling this way.. Right?
 
   

 


Comment Page: 1 2 3   [Next]
 
tweekscoffee217 on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
Of course you're not. Being dirty is not at all the same thing as being wicked. Being wicked is having the intent to cause harm to other people. what you're doing is just seeking your desires. It may not necessarily be good, and in some instances a little chaotic. But it is by no means evil. Neutral, I would say.
mollyrosemond on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
Chaotic. Very good term for me.  I feel a little better.
decisiontime on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
I don't think you're a bad person whatsoever -- your desires are natural, you're honest with yourself about it, and you don't try to hurt anyone.  Just about everyone has secrets I bet, so nothing unusual there. 
mollyrosemond on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
good! I'm happy I'm not such a big mess as I thought.
doriangray on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
Hell you went up a few notches in my book. You are human, and human's want what they want. You aren't causing anybody harm by what you do. As long as you are safe with the sex you are having then there is nothing wrong with it whatsoever.
mollyrosemond on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
Of course I am/will always be safe, no matter what. I'm not stupid when it comes to sex.  But thank you, I feel good knowing that I'm not so out there.
doriangray on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
Good. Now go out there and bone.
mollyrosemond on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
going!
blueeyedtawni on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
you  are not dirty..  your a  naughty  girl  woot!!!!

^___^

girl, if we went by the  normal everyday  version of a  good girl.. you would be  having sex in the missionary with a  husband  , does what he says , have 2 kids down the hall  with a dog  by the door and  a  white picket  ence..  shudder.. hahaha

  no  you take your feelings and emotionns and mnake them come alive ..and those feelings in return  give back  so much..

 

mollyrosemond on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.:
thank you! I've gotten positive feedback. I feel much better!
niassa on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
Your not the wrong age, nor are you bad or wicked.  And tech it isn't that big of a secret.  Thanks to the Victorian age, we still have a very warped view on sex and human responses towards lust.  Lust isn't a bad thing and sex isn't a bad thing.  It is natural and beautiful.  And if more ppl would accept themselves in this way they wouldn't be so bitchy or such big assholes.  They are trying to conform to society but who says society is correct?  I sure don't.

 

I am not what most folks consider a normal "woman".  I LOVE me some sex.  I am all about getting it on.  Sure it is only with my hubby but I wear that poor man out.  And by "medical standards" I should be hitting my female low time for the sex, screw that.  I want sex and when I do give it to me.  You would be suprised to know and what most women don't seem to understand is that men in relatioinships will taper off on sex a lot faster then women do if they are comfortable with each other.  My ol man is constantly making deals with me on the sex part because I want it all the time and he doesn't.  I have to negoiate with him cause he is older then me 

 

So I say embrace sexual side.  As long as you don't go buck wild and corrupt your morals and ethics there is nothing wrong with it. 

mollyrosemond on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
hahah! that's so great. You wear your husband out! hahah.  good for you  

 I'm not going to go wild, I promise! I do have my standards and I don't plan on having sex with multiple men at once.  Good advice, thank you much!!

niassa on
Re: I've got a secret place and I wanna take you there.
yvw :d


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