Oh...My...G...

Let's see, the last thing you all heard was that I was working at teh Orange Ex-Services Club and doing Jekyll and Hyde, plus having issues about life love and everything...

Since then (in chronological order):

I have left the club; done Cats with the OTC; met this guy named Mat (different to me, I am Matt); been the Manager of Boost Juice; moved into a share house with a group of friends (Mat included); started dating Mat; got fired; started a Cert IV in Music at TAFE; done You're a Good Man Charlie Brown as Snoopy (hella awesome that was); moved out of share house and into a flat with Mat; completed a Cert IV in Music at TAFE; started a Diploma of Music at TAFE; broken up with Mat; moved back to Canowindra with Mum and sisters; taken up Tai Chi; and got the role of George in The Wedding Singer... All in 2 and a bit years.

So yeah. Things are going along better than ever, and I have found a great deal of peace within myself.

I am pleased to be no longer as emo as I used to be. lol

I am more in touch with myself now than I think I have ever been. I dont fight things so much, I go with the flow a lot easier, but I also work hard to create the reality I want for myself.

I'm proud of myself for the things I've done and do, and I've healed a lot of crap from my past.

I enjoy my life and I love my friends so much, they have helped bring me back from some of the darkest times in my life.

Being with Mat was toxic, I loved him and sorta still do, and he loved me as much as he could, but it wasn't a healthy relationship, too many drugs, too much stress and depression and shit.

I understand that everybody hurts and every couple has rough patches and stuff, but it just wasn't healthy. Everyone who knows me saw me change so dramatically in the 2 years I was with Mat, and now they see me and can see me smiling again and laughing again. It's good.

I miss him, but at the same time I'm glad. I hope he finds his way out of the darkness, I sincerely do, but I just couldn't let him bring me down anymore.

And I didn't want to be responsible for not being good for him anymore, and thus being responsible for making him worse.

So yeah, that was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but it was necessary and I was definately being the grown up in that situation. I think.

So I moved back to my mum's. lol

My family will always be there and I hope they realise that i will always be there for them no matter where I am. I love them so much, my sisters are so awesome. *hugs for them*

My plans for the future?

Well, for tafe this year we have to record an album, so once I do that I can sell it, and next year I'm going to get another job and work my ass off earning money, while getting vocal training and dance lessons so that I can try out for WAAPA (Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts) in Perth. They do a Bachelor of Arts in Musical Theatre. Sweet!

That's what's motivating me for the next three years, but I'm open to that changing.

Anyways. I'll try to update this more often now, and the appearance of the page will probably change.

I also wanna go back and delete old posts that are full of angst and stress.

So cha.

Peace and love all.

Matty D.