My therapist thinks I'm too disconnected from society, namely people. The fact that I don't trust people, let alone my own family, makes me think she's not too far off. I guess over the years I've just grown accustomed to being the loner. The kid sitting in the back of the class not talking to anyone. The guy who prefers not to work with a partner. That guy who never speaks in class.
The irony of all of this? I'm incredibly amiable and sociable, but throughout my whole life no one has ever given me the chance to talk. Any time I did talk, I was treated like some brilliant outcast: a pariah. So I learned to keep open ears and a shut mouth. Every chance I could get I would lose myself in thought; deep, complex thought. I guess it's because I'm a philosopher by nature. I've always been incredibly inquisitive, always wanting to learn as much as I can.
Give me a good book and I'll be entertained for hours. Ask me to work in a group and I'll think of a million reasons to do all the work myself and just be done with it. Why? Because people cannot be trusted to do their share of the work. They cannot be trusted to be any more intelligent than a four year old. I don't automatically dismiss someone's intelligence right off the bat, but after a few sentences and observations of their personality, I can pretty much tell if I'm working with a dimwit. Maybe it's because they don't see the world as I see it, and maybe it's because I see the world for what it could be, and they see it for what isn't.
Maybe it's because I seek something that most people couldn't care less to find. I seek thought. I seek intelligence. I seek answers.
I've been told many times, by many people that Curiosity killed the cat. But I soon learned that Satisfaction brought him back.
mindsay
