I hope I don't sound judgemental but here's what I think:

You can't help what's already happened - but you can help what will happen in the future.

Just think about it.You might be getting stolen moments of pleasure - but that will always be underlined with feelings of guilt. If you ignore the guilt long enough so that after a while it no longer bothers you, then think of the type of person you would be becoming. Do you really want to be that person?

Also, think about your boyfriend. I'm sure it's hard for you to resist this guy but I don't think that cheating on someone behind their back is an acceptable way to treat another human being. If you can't resist this other guy, then make it so it's impossible that you two are alone together - maybe organise a trustworthy friend to be with you at all times. Or at least tell your boyfriend the truth - you'd probably lose him but it would be selfish of you keep him while cheating on him and lying to him at the same time. I don't see that as an acceptable way to treat another human being - especially not one you love. Sometimes you have to put aside what you want for yourself to do what's best for everyone, including yourself. What you want will hurt you and not just you, either.

-hugs-

Sorry for the judgemental-sounding stuff. I've never been in that situation - never even been involved in a serious relationship. I might sound all high and righteous but I can only hope that I will be strong enough to keep to my own standards when I am tested. I am sure it is harder than I imagine it to be.

I just stumbled upon this blog after seeing it on the "Latest Comment" part of Mindsay...but IMO: If you really thought your boyfriend is wonderful and wouldn't trade him for the world, you wouldnt fool around with anyone else, no matter how big the temptation.

You should probably just break up with your boyfriend now, because nobody wants a liar or a hoe for a girlfriend...

That's just a really crappy thing to do. If you want someone else, at least break up with the one you're with...

Who knows...you might have contracted some disease and your innocent boyfriend shouldnt be subjected to that.

I know it's been a week later (so hopefully you listened to the other repliers), but lostgrl28: You don't sound so remorseful about trading the phrases "not like that" to "I am like that." If you had a crush on a boy- don't drink with him (that's a frickin' basic thing to know). It sounds like you knew ahead what was going happen, and it's BEER for fuck's sake, and since you didn't do anything to stop it (and still aren't) it's entirely your fault. Not the coworkers (though he should've backed off if he knew about you being taken- did he even know that?). Yours.

You've sounded like you chosen to be a cheater. Be nice to your boyfriend and consider him for once instead of yourself- break up with him, tell him WHY (honestly) because he'll know it's for the better to not be with someone who doesn't truly care for him, and then have fun with that coworker if you still feel like it after all of this (though that thought disgusts me completely, if you still want him enough to ignore your humanity, go ahead).

Hell is when you die, live with it when you're still living... god, I hope you learn from this.