re-evaluating my life

I have not been a good person lately.  I have been crappy to my boyfriend behind his back and I have drinking and smoking cigarettes way to much.  I need to stop and get control of my life again.  I don't want things spiraling out of control.  So much of my anxiety is seeing myself getting older and losing my youth.  I often wonder where the time went.  I don't like growing, it's not that fun but I have no control over it.  I need to not analyze everything and get worked up.  I need to stop drinking again- it makes me miserable and depressed.