Oh My.

Last night was I guess epic? Jake and I had our first "problem", not a fight!
anyways we had both had a terrible day and he's just telling me why his was bad
when he just starts to roam around the subject that his ex, lets call her...Sally,(dont mock me for that Katie) had been trying to talk to him again. And although he didn't want to talk to her, those undeniable feelings came back. I mean...I've been there before. I know how that goes, you don't want the feelings to come back but it just...happens. Anyways I spent a good time crying and we're just trying to talk this all out. We resolved it, I think. I pretty much just gave him the idea to just...ignore her for the time being. Yeah it might suck but if you want us to work you need to. I think he's going to.
And then we just started talking about how he used to be an asshole, and I knew he used to be. 6 months ago he completely ignored me to go out with some girl, and this repeated a few more times until now. And well..he told me a few things.

1. he was about to go back out with Sally until he began talking to me again
2. he thought i was "hideous" when he first started talking to me
3. he thought i was weird for having my lip pierced, but then got it pierced only a few weeks later

And I was getting ready for my shower when I was looking in the mirror at my face. I already have incredible self esteem issues up the wazoo but I just got to thinking, "I don't think I'll ever find myself quite as atleast 'cute' as I used to because of that hideous comment" I know, stupid let a boy rule over your thoughts. But...I dont know. Jake says confusing things. Like we were talking about the first time we met, I was dieing to meet him and he was too. He replayed a scene when he first walked past me to go to the bathroom but he waved at me, none the less. He said he had no excuse to go to the bathroom except to have an excuse to wave at me. But then I'm thinking during our conversation, didn't you just say 'i thought you were hideous when we first started talking'???? I dont know. Just...that didn't add up. I'm planning on talking about it to him later.

Anyways...that was pretty much all I wanted to say....
I need to get ready, hopefully he is coming over.
Alright, byee.