As many of you already know, I no longer attend "church" with my family. We have not gone for a long while now. I have had plenty of time to think about the establishment of this thing called "church" and the reasons why or why not to go and find another one.
Pros:
Ready made fellowship with the brethren in various forms.
Always an event or class to attend.
Teaching and insight from a person who's job is solely to study the Bible.
Children's programs available
Choir
Cons:
Wolves dressed as sheep.
Pastors who preach from their head and not from the Spirit.
Christians who make it hard for you to hold your head high and call yourself one of the flock.
Fees *I'm not talking about tithing*
Takes up every spare moment of your time.
I remember when we first started going to church when I was a young child. I had to sit among the adults and be silent, no snack or juice or anything. I remember falling asleep from boredom. Classes before church were early and interesting, just as long as you stayed within the status quo and didn't ask questions to which the teacher didn't know the answer. ~ end church #1 ~
As I got older I joined the choir, began to sing solos, lived for the moment when the service would be over so I could go outside and try to climb a tree with the boys...yes I was in a dress and stockings but I didn't care. The men started looking at me as a woman and not a girl. Some of the men in the congregation began to make advances at me, a then eleven year old girl. One in particular was relentless in his pursuit...a pursuit that lasted til I was married at 21. He did some things to me that aren't *work-safe* as they call it when I was only 13. He and his brother were totally out of line when it came to me, altho his brother only touched me once and it never got as far as it did with him. Gave my heart to God in that church, but there was no leader to follow. Nothing changed. I just ended up being what and who I was with no real manifestation of God within me. ~end church #2~
At 16, after he had a child with another woman while professing his love for me, I finally pushed this man aside. Certain people had us pegged to be married, but I knew a lot of things about which they had no clue. This is when I decided to go exploring through the religions and denominations to find where I belonged. Buddhism, Catholicism, Baptists, Methodists, Jehovah's Witness, Wicca, Muslim, and probably a few more if I really thought hard enough about it...I researched them and tried a few. Ended up rededicating my life to God in a youth rally and found a church that was in session every day. Fell out in the Spirit and someone tried to force me to speak in tongues. Felt what it was to be needed in a ministry, which quickly turned to being used for the glory of the man not of God.
Finally got to the Assemblies of God. First word I thought : WEIRD!!! How could a man get the "joy of the Lord" and speak in "tongues", then go running like a marathon racer around the sanctuary like a madman till he fell onto the altar in tears? Talk about uncomfortable! This is the place where I first found a real manifestation of God. "I have seen You in the sanctuary and beheld Your power and glory..." Yes. Still some weird stuff, but there was lots and lots of fellowship. Learned about the truth of the Bible and what it REALLY said about women pastors and tongues and such. Found friends, many of whom stabbed us in the back by the end, and joined in ministry. Even in their sister church, we found a place that seemed like home. Ah, but things aren't always what they seem.
I could recount many tales about churches that were bogus, that tought evil oppressive doctrines that helped them exalt themselves...I could paint the picture of the all around great "Christians" who then proceed to tell lies and break you down behind your back... but we all know those stories too well already.
The moral of this story...the point? Church is NOT needed for fellowship with the "saints". I have found more genuine, God-fearing people that embody the truth of Christ's love outside of the church than I have within the walls of one. I have found a more reliable network of friends who are more like family. I have found that I can worship God in *my* temple within myself without having to leave my home. The preachers on tv are good sometimes, but there is nothing like getting into a session where you fall at God's feet and pray the Kingdom down into your own home. I don't have a schedule of when God is supposed to arrive. I don't have to be done with worship at 11:30am so I can get into the sermon and be done by 12:30pm so my stomach doesn't growl too loud and mess up the solemnity of the moment. I don't have to tell my child he can't squirm in his seat, or reprimand him for being a 3 year old in the middle of a 3 hour adult conversation. Food and water won't ruin the pew upon which I sit.
Church is a great concept and has helped me to find the church within myself. I am thankful for every experience, but church has also taught me that God doesn't conform to our little box, our little window of opportunity that we allow Him to have. He doesn't come when you *want* Him, but He always comes right on time. Sure it's erattic and unpredictable. I don't know how I could love a God that isn't. He made me in His image...erratic and unpredictable. I would expect Him to be no less than the same. I don't expect Him to conform to my schedule. I only pray that I can bend to His will.
jesus
