I flew out to California for my father's funeral this week.  It was full of surreal moments.  The flight  was really out of this world - Kelly and I got to the airport in Baltimore at 5:30am - way too early for her! - only to find out that the computer check-in service did not have my name in correctly so I missed my flight!  The check-in clerks had us going back and forth:  will they charge us $100 for a change in flight because we purchased the tickets on Priceline and they do not allow for a change in flight times without a penalty, or would they let me on with sympathy because I was traveling conspicuously in uniform and I was going to my father's funeral?  They finally let me have a new "standby" ticket without charging me and I was able to get on board.  I even got upgraded to 1st class - my first time ever.  First class is nice because besides bringing you breakfast that the "OTHER PEOPLE" don't get, they bring you these hot towelettes to wipe your hands and face and their always asking you what can they do for you!  "I'm a first class N**** in a coach classs world" (I think I just made that up). 

One moment please..................Kelly, now I really understand why we use the N word, it makes your experiences flow much better!

OK, back to my story.  So, the plane flight was surreal at times.  I flew from Baltimore to Denver.  In the Denver region, it was extremely cloudy and of course, as anyone knows who flies frequently, going through clouds is not the best experience you can have.  It becomes bumpy and your stomach goes halfway up your throat, and your heart is racing twice as fast as it should!  You feel as if you're on an amusement ride for goodness sake.  We flew in the clouds and then the ride became really calm, as if we were not moving.  I thought that was strange so I looked outside through the window and all I saw was white.  I kept looking and all of a sudden, I felt and hard bump and jerk.  We had just landed and I wasn't aware of the ground coming up because of the snow covering everything.  In a way, it was a little scary, the ground coming up like that.

After the delay in Denver, we flew to California, near LA. For the most part, the flight was uneventful.  They didn't have first class but I did get to sit in the first ten rows and in an exit door aisle that gave me the leg room I so desperately need on flights (I'm on the short end of being tall).  I was a little less comfortable in the seat than on the previous flight - first class and all!!! - but I was okay until we came over the mountains to land!!!!  The only thing I knew about the Santa Ana winds were from the Steely Dan song "Babalon Sister" ...here come those Santa Ana winds again.....  Well let me tell you, they were coming like a hurricane!  It felt like that amusment park ride you want to get off but can't, you know?  I was on one of those rides for real with my daughter earlier this year and let me tell you, I will not be getting on it again.  There is a reason why the majority of rides at carnivals are for children.  They don't give a s*** and it actually is fun for them.  For adults, all we think about is "Why did I do this crazy bulls***!".  Anyway, when the ride finally ended, we landed but the funny thing was that the winds were worse on the ground than in the air!  Dirt, signs, hats were all flying around like you landed in the middle of that tornado scene from the Wizard of Oz!  I'm just glad I do not live in California.

When I arrived at the car rental place, the woman at the counter asked me did we travel in a loop (a litteral circle) to land because of the wind?  I told her I don't know!  I wasn't paying attention to the flight path of the plane.  I just wanted it to land.

The hotel did not have my reservation and they were booked so they directed me to a better hotel that cost less!  That was indeed a blessing.  I was tired and had dust in my eyes and on my clothes from the winds.  I came into my room and got in the bed as soon as possible.  I wanted to rest for the funeral.  I called Kelly and fell asleep to her sleeping on the other end. Tres' romantic!

The funeral was odd.  You know, funerals and weddings are like family reunions.  It's the only time that you see people you either don't know very well (Cousin Terry ) or that you wish you never see again (name omitted).  Anyway, at the funeral, all of the children, including myself, spoke.  I don't cry and so I didn't.  My brother's did as did my one sister who came - my other sister, who by the way decided not to come to the funeral, said our father was dead to her a long time ago (in a far away land...). I only thought these types of things happend to other people or in the movies.  Life truely is stranger than fiction.

I looked upon my father as he lay in his casket....  It was unreal to me in alot of ways.  I never really imagined my father dying.  My brother who is one year my younger and I talked about how much of a disciplinarian my father was.  He was of the generation that believed in telling you to do something once and if you didn't do it, he would beat you, plain and simple.  He would also beat you if he thought you were disrespecting him in anyway.  It was rough growing up with him as a father.  He was often larger than life to me, a figure that you were definately scared of, all the time.  Fear is a powerful tool.  But looking at him in his new home brought this thought of emptiness to me.  He was no longer anyone to fear.  Actually, I had that thought several years back when he had his liver transplant that eventually assisted in his death.  He had lost so much weight and maintained that look for the last six years that he never looked like the same dad that at times, seemed to terrorize my brother and I all of those years ago.  Life has surely and truely come full circle because I am now he.  I am not the terror to my children that he was to my brother and I but I am the father now.  I am the eldest son and with that factual position comes the inherited responsibility of being the man that all look to, in one way or another, for answers, guidance, truth and trust.  I know that I can be a terror like he was at times.  He wasn't always mean.  It's just that to a son growing up, that's what I remember most about him. 

Now it's my turn and I hope that my children do not remember me in the same way.