Well, I'm home. My wife, my baby, my sweet tea and ice cream
twentypearls94 has written in previous blogs about my trials and travails in Mississippi on my two-week summer training with the Navy reserve. All I can say is that "Boy, am I glad to be home!"
Well, actually, I can say alot more than that and I think I will.
First, have you ever noticed that if you are on a two-week training exercise in the hot and humid south that after a day or two or three or four (without a shower mind you) that you begin to smell like a group of unwashed socks? If you know what I mean, you also understand that not only you but everyone you went on the exercise with begins to smell like that too. And the odor still smells bad after 4 days despite your belief that you should be immune to it by now.
Speaking of smells, the Navy has a lot of sayings about smells or specifically how you smell if you in fact do. It's called "Bag of Ass" and it's used for everything as in the following:
"You smell like a bag of ass!" "You look like a bag of ass!" "Wake up, you bag of ass!" and etc.
One day, a female sailor said "I really smell like underarms!" or something to that effect. A male sailor replied to her 'At least you don't smell like ass!". In this case, he forgot the "bag" but you get the point, ass, bag of ass, the Navy and her sailors believe in using it liberally.
Speaking of liberally, one must always carry some sort of mix - i.e. gatorade, hi-C, something to mix in water and plenty of underwear and socks when you go on a 'trip' like the one I was on. The mix is necessary to cut down on the iron taste of the water that is in these 300 gallon mobile tanks called water buffaloes. The underwear is necessary because during this time of year, it's as humid as it is hot so you're sweating before the sun comes up, literally. You must change your underwear twice daily in order to not smell as bad. You still will smell, you will not escape that! But, if you change your underwear and tee-shirts (I forgot to tell you that but both go together you nin-com-poops!) you'll be..... hot and humid and stinky but you'll have changed twice a day!
Speaking of twice a day, I wrote about two times a day during the first week I was there. I had alot of good material to work with: hot, humid conditions, relentless drills, bugs, spiders, mosquitos, thunderstorms, no sleep, good food (surprisingly!), MRE's - meals ready to eat that have loads of calories over 2000 per package that you may eat 3 times a day - for you weight watchers out there that's about 6000 calories in a day but believe me, you burn it up. Anyway, I had alot of material......then I lost my note book along with my phone and ipod so what's the lesson here? Don't go to FEX again!!!! Okay, really it's don't take personal stuff down there again except for journals, unless you also want people to read your personal stuff you've written, some of which is about your supervisor that you may not want him/her to see!!!!
Okay, speaking of supervisors, I won't talk about mine because she might read by blog!!!!
I also won't talk about one of my collegues who might be sleeping with one of my other supervisors because that might be gossip which I am totally against.
I have principles, you know?
I love good things, don't you?
