If you guys aren't talking about your farts...It's always something equally gross or worse.

Though the fart comments make me laugh, hard. Everytime lol <3 So gross, but I'd feel empty without them.

The rest of the members of the male populous though...the following pertains to you.

I.e sending me polaroids of poop (yeah someone did that last summer) I don't want to open my mailbox and take a second to realize that I'm staring at someone's poop in living polaroid color.

Also, I don't wanna listen to the conversation about you telling me how much you  would like to fuck a girl in the ass.

I do not have a penis, so, while I am definately an open minded member of the tit populous, and have said my own fair share of nasty things, I don't share the same enthusiasm you might have about sticking it in a girls butt. REALLY. I DON'T.

I'm not getting into my own preferences here, I'm just stating, I'm not going to get giddy with excitement at the idea of hearing you go on and on about what you want to do to the girl at taco bell's ass. She's 16 and her butt doesn't want it.

Another thing, I don't want graphic descriptions of your shit.

Really. I know we all shit. Everything that is alive shits. I get that, I do. What I don't get is the male desire to show and tell.

Case in point: 

"Give me ten minutes, or maybe 15, I've gotta release some toxic stuff from the hole in my ass. I ate ribs and stuff. I hope it burns, that's always kinda exciting. You never know what to expect when you look to flush. It burns, so you think your entire asshole as just been ripped to pieces, and you expect a bloody massacre mess. Then you discover there's no bloody massacre, and it's kinda like winning the lottery. You live to ride another day. Doesn't get much better than that. You know what I'm saying?"

I don't want to know what you're saying.

Why can't guys be mysterious about that kinda shit. (No pun intended).

Anyhoo, My name's Gwen, and I'm just doing my part to try and make the world a better place.