I have a job, I do what I always dreamed of.
I have a great girlfriend and we're getting married.
I have a family, a great loving mother and a so-so father.
I have enough health, enough money, a car.

But somehow, my life is so empty.

Maybe it's the season. This dark and uncertain weather.
Maybe it's the shifts that mess up with my sleep cycles.
Maybe it's my dog who looks as upbeat as I am.
Maybe it's the distance between me and my girlfriend.

I don't even have the energies to plan our wedding, everything seems so useless and boring.

When I come home from work, I always head for my bed.
I should be running to by girl's arms.
She always smells so good.
God, I miss her.
 
   

 


 
 
bonniegirl on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
Could be many things, but sounds like you are a bit depressed, hey? But it also sounds normal when you miss someone you love...
Just keep the goal in mind and look forward to your future with anticipation, and hopefully, you will be able to get that chin up again, hey??????????
bonnie
jimshields on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
I have been trying to do that. One goal at a time. Trying to think that marriage will get us together, even if for just a couple of weeks. Sometimes I get silly moods.. thank you Bonnie.
lovespirit on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
"It seems I just heard you say, "...missing you changes my whole day.."  and I understood you so clearly...because, missing you changes my whole day as well...and not just my day...missing you changes me!  The missing fades my smile and makes me frown..'.missing' washes away my joy and leaves only sadness in it's wake.  I don't like missing you...come home, my darling...I've learned my lesson...you've taught me well what life without you is like...it hurts."
 . . .Believe me, it's the "missing her" that has you feeling so empty . . . I wrote this when I felt adrift in a sea of 'missing him' . . . it's as tho' I, myself was missing and that's what's going on with you . . because you and she are one, when she is missing so are you . . .
jimshields on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
God. I would never be able to put that into words. I could spend the whole night writing about it, but I would fail to write what I really meant. This describes best what I am feeling:

because you and she are one, when she is missing so are you.

Thank you.
lovespirit on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
. . . I opened up this window and then I paused . . . contemplating my response . . . wanting, in some way, to help you feel how welcomed you are to whatever I have that is of service to you . . .your chosen profession tells me you have a loving, compassionate and sensitive heart . . . what's occurring between us is that you feel me . . . it's my heart that you feel . . . my spirit . . . I can't be separated from my words . . . how could I be . . .it's ok, that's what I'm here for . . . to serve you . . . use me . . .use me up . . .I commit to being yours for as long as you need me . . .I have an inner source from which I am continually renewed, replenished . . .
jimshields on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
I don't want to drain you.
Your gift is wonderful, but you're nobodies servant.
Using you up is such a tempting thought, but then your words wouldn't taste as good as freedom does.
Would they?
I will be coming back to you. Whenever I am thirsty, I will think of you.
Thank you. I feel welcomed.
jimshields on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
. . . but I am . . . I have a servant's heart!  And so do you . . . isn't that the impetus behind your choice to be a nurse . . . if you're doing it from your heart then you have a servant's heart, don't you . . . it's not fair to your patients if you're just doing it for the money!  (I hope that's not the case)

You know better than that.
You could be my servant, but for that, I should be worthy of your dedication.
(Well.. how ironic.. I actually need your words here, as I cannot quite put my feelings into text..)
A servant should always get its reward.
When I help my patients, I am instantly being rewarded by their well-being, sometimes by their smiles and words.
But what could I give you? Where do I have a reward suitable to such dedication? Only my wonder..
lovespirit on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
 . . . and it's the same for any true servant's heart . . . not only is the reward in witnessing the immediate effects of unconditional love and care . . . but in the actual giving.  For me, giving has always been more fulfilling, more satisfying than receiving . . . everything about you lets me know that you understand that . . . that possibly it's the same with you . . .
jimshields on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
I will have to agree. But.. what can we do when we have two dedicated servants? Do they take turns?

mythoutsonit on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
Aw... I agree with the two ladies who have commented. Say a prayer..

Good luck!

jimshields on
Re: Unfortunately, I'm not really happy
I'm trying.. I'm trying.
Trying to avoid thinking about it..
Thanks

 
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