Dinosaurs: What Really Happened?

With the American Inter-Galatic Empire being stretched across the galaxy, the question of, "where have all the cowboys gone?" Has long since been replaced with, "where did the dinosaurs go? Weren't they just here?" Ask no more, for the answer is here.

 

As any Greek scholar (like myself) knows, dinosaur comes from the Greek words; dino. meaning, large scary creature; and; saurus. meaning; that will probably eat you, if he gets the chance.

 

If one were to study prehistoric history (as much as I have) one would see the answer plain as day. They (dinosaurs) became the most influential Scientologists of all time. Yes, dinosaurs so devoted to the religon that they became memebers of the church, millions of years before L. Ron Hubbard established it.

 

Now by now you are wondering to yourself, "but where did they go?" Easy answer. Mechtron V. You see the dinosaurs developed space flight and learned of Mechtron V from an alien race known as the Jaggernauts. The Jaggernauts had a strange obsession with Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger. The Jaggernauts then decided to found a colony after him. The Jaggernauts journeyed to the distant galaxy of Zyrthc and landed on Mechtron V, which is the third moon of Alexiav.

 

From Mechtron V the Jaggernauts sent messages to every known galaxy, and in BC 10000000000000, the dinosaurs received this message, "I can't get no, satisfaction. But if you want to get satisfaction you can now attain it at lovely Mechtron V, for only 9999999 zatiris (approx 2 cents American money) you can purchase a lovely condo by the sands of Lake Fire." Naturally the dinosaurs felt this would be a wise move, because in a few million years human beings (homo sapiens) would persecute them for their idiotic beliefs. Also they feared the Ice Age and giant metorite that would exterminate their race. One theory says, they were terrified of the rise of the band known as New Kidz on the Block.

 

After receiving the message from the Jaggernauts of Mechtron V the dinosaurs left behind their dead and pushed on through out the universe to a planet known as... Mechtron V...