Life lessons I have learned from my brief foray into Jon and Kate’s marriage:
1) If you insist on having things your way, you will get things your way. Albeit alone.
2) If you publicly emasculate your husband, your husband will get very angry. And eventually leave you.
3) If you continually criticize your husband on national TV and laugh it off with a “playful” slap on his cheek, your husband will get very angry. And eventually will leave you. Perhaps for a 23 year old.
4) If you find yourself with cameras in your home documenting every marital discord, you will end up with no marriage to document.
5) If your formerly unassuming husband decides he needs hair plugs, investigate. He may want to be 23 again.
6) If you find yourself dressing your children in matching designer clothes to go to Wal Mart while you wear a short skirt and heels and smile for the cameras, you may be a Diva.
7) If you have a hunky body guard to go to North Carolina, to stay in your $10,000 a week beach side resort, you might be a Diva.
8) If your husband’s eyes glaze over while he listens to you tell “funny” (read passive aggressive) stories about him, you might be in trouble. You’re not 23 anymore, it’s not cute.
9) If your kids call the nanny mommy and you by your first name, you might be in trouble. Remember your mantra “It’s all about the kids”.
10) And in the words of the Pussy Cat Dolls, Be careful what you wish for cuz you just might get it. You just might get it. You just might get it.
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