So my friend Tawny is a bit of a drama queen.  Not over the top, dysfunctional.  Just enough to make her fun.   She’s a romantic at heart and thrives on a little drama in her life.  Fortunately or unfortunately she’s married to a man who could care less.  Tim has no ego.  Hard to believe for a man.  He has very little demands in terms of a relationship.  He’s into peace in the home, a little loving every now and then and someone to hang out with.    He’s a good man.  Those are his needs.  He doesn’t ever check up on Tawny.   He doesn’t question Tawny.  He accepts Tawny for who she is.  Period. 

Tawny may be in love with another man.  We’re not sure.  Tawny has a “love of her life”.  It’s not Tim.  Tawny is the type of woman who has a “love of her life”.  Tawny has been pining for the love of her life for 20 years.  She’s been married to Tim for the same.  Jax is not the kind of man that Tawny thinks she needs.  He’s single.  He’s never had children.  He’s expressed his interest in Tawny over the years.  They’ve kept in touch.  Sometimes innocently, sometimes not so innocently.   Tawny has moved on in her life from the time she and Jax were together.  In an attempt to not sound cliché, he’s the small town boy; she’s the big city girl.   They live very different lives.  Lives that Tawny purposely fled.  She doesn’t want that small town life.  She needs more.  She truly appreciates and is grateful for the stability of Tim.  As mentioned, Tim is a good man.  A good father.  A decent provider.  He’s fun.  He’s kind.  He gives her everything she thinks she needs.  But she wonders if he gives her everything she thought she needed.   Does she need passion?  Does she need the drama that Jax provides?  How important is drama and passion in a relationship anyway?  Of course it depends on the individual but if you are a person who needs it, is that need something to overcome or something to indulge?  Is it more mature to deny it or more mature to embrace it?  I’m not sure. 

Does everyone have “one true love”?  Do you stick it out for practicality or do you go for it?  Tawny thinks she could never leave Tim for Jax.  Should she?  I don’t know.  She wouldn’t leave Tim because of practical concerns.  Jax can’t provide as well as Tim.  She couldn’t live in the town he lives in, so where would they live?  Tim and Tawny do have a child together. She couldn’t take her from Tim.  So it’s a moot point.  She does love Tim.  But just not in that “the one” way.   It’s a moot point.  Right?   Our friend Michelle thinks it’s a moot point.  She claims vehemently that it would be selfish to leave.  She would never leave her husband for another man no matter what the circumstances because that would be “selfish”.  She came from a divorced home; she could never do that to her children.  Or her husband.  I argue that it’s the epitome of selfishness to not leave.  Or maybe to not bring the matter up for discussion.  By not offering full disclosure are you not taking away the ability of your partner to perhaps find “their one”?  Taking away their chance at being loved and cherished in a way that you can’t provide?  Because you have determined that keeping it hidden is the “right thing to do”.   You have made the choice and therefore taken away a choice.   Would you want to know if you weren't the one? 

Perhaps it’s simply cruelty and immaturity.  I mean really.  When we’re supposedly “grown ups”, what is the “grown up” way to behave?  Do we come to terms with choices and decisions we have made and live the best life we can under the assumptions and conditions of said choices?  Is Tawny simply being childish?  Get real here.  That was many years ago.  Tawny is an admitted drama queen.  Maybe she simply needs some drama.  Maybe the idea of “the one” being out there and unattainable is enough for her.  Enough to keep her going in her marriage.  Is that the goal?   To make the best of what we’ve got?  Turn lemons into lemonade?  Be happy with what you have?  I can’t think of any more clichés.  Or is the goal to “live your authentic life”.  I’ve never really known exactly what living “authentically” really means.  I don’t think I’m deep enough.  Does Tawny embrace who she is, what she needs and go with it?  Do we follow our one true voice in this one and only life we have?   What hurts more, to be dumped or to live a lie?  And what is the lie?  Hmmm.