I’ve been on vacation and have had the opportunity to catch up on my Oprah. Recently she had a show regarding supposedly straight women “turning gay”. It was actually a follow up on a previous show about a long time married woman who left her husband for a woman, who actually looked a lot like her husband, and was at the time happily ensconced in her first official lesbian relationship. Now a few years later the relationship has ended and the straight, then lesbian is now straight again. Though pining for her past lover. Woman, not man.
That story was very interesting but what really hooked me was the expert. I guess she was an expert in sexuality? I’m not sure, I didn’t catch that part. The expert has a book out and her claim to fame is that sexuality is on a continuum. It ranges from 0 which would be 100% homosexual to 5 which are 100% heterosexual. She claims that we are all on this scale at some point between 0 and 5. That not many people, certainly female people, are truly 100% either way.
Theoretically I can buy this theory 100%. It makes complete sense to me that sexuality would be a range scale. But in reality, I’m not sure that I buy it. And I bring up Oprah’s own heartbroken guest as evidence. This woman married to a man for year’s states she had “messed around” sexually with girls in college. That she was not surprised when she found herself attracted to the woman formerly in her life. She is currently in a relationship again with a man but admits that she would much rather be with this woman. She states that her hetero relationships are nowhere near the intensity of her lesbian relationship and that she felt much more like herself when she was in her lesbian relationship vs. hetero. I think she’s a lesbian. Perhaps not willing to commit, but a lesbian all the same.
The expert states that most women are in the middle of the range. That young women today are more of the attitude that they are open to either and that gender doesn’t determine their partner. I don’t know that I buy this theory. Our media driven culture certainly indulges girl on girl relationships. I believe this current trend is related more to revenue streams than social conscience. Men certainly aren’t socially open to experiment. Are we repressing men? If it were socially acceptable for men to experiment sexually would they? If they were on a continuum, wouldn’t they? I can’t see that happening. But maybe it’s just my Midwestern roots coming back to bite me again.
Is sexuality like many of the gray areas in life? Aren't we programmed one way or the other? We can adapt to the in-between but fundamentally don't we have a preference?
relationships
