I learned today that Hannah Montana, aka Miley Cyrus, is not only still alive, but is also making a 3D movie. WHO APPROVED THIS?!!??!?!?! Havent people realized that the only reason she is famous is because billy ray cyrus was getting low on funds (which is why he was forced to be on dancing with the stars) so he decided to whore out his own daughter? She pops out sugary-sweet, teenybopper songs that make any self-respecting adult want to rip their own arms off just so that they can stick the bloody stumps into their eardrums. I do have to admit that I watch her show from time to time, but that was only started because my dorm roommate would watch it incessantly and now I watch it when there is really nothing else on (thats what happens when you have no life *bangs head on desk*). If I ever start singing one of her songs..please someone kill me..in the most horrible fashion imaginable. I will admit that when I heard miley's new song, start all over, on the radio I wanted to be disemboweled because I found it catchy and actually like it *bashes in face with baseball bat full of nails* (keep in mind I did not know who the artist was at the time)
I saw a disgusting snippet of her new video while I was watching tv with my 11-year-old sister (who adores hannah montana). It is a disgrace to america (not as much as george bush though). everything was red, white and blue...seriously..like..EVERYTHING. I can envision the american flag crying and then throwing up. her outfit is even red white and blue. The fact that she is trying to be something that she is not makes me the most ill. first thing I noticed: she is wearing bondage pants..red bondage pants...WTF?! She is a scene kid..scene kids need to die. Also, for those who havent quite mastered the art of discerning boy vs girl, all of the extra girls have bright pink somewhere on their body, but for the most part the pink is plastered on with almost no skin to be found. Hell, they might as well painted these poor girls pink. The most amusing part of her disheveled and tired choreography is the fact that she has taken the macarena, removed a couple moves (she of course had to get rid of the pelvic movements..disney owns her soul), threw in a different move (where she sticks her arms straight out to the side and bends over like she does every time disney channel executives come near her) and then proceeds to dance this little hand and arm dance with the bastard children of the village people: an astronaut, a scuba diver, a cop, and a cowboy. And to top it all off, miley cyrus' persona in the video is like the prom night dumpster baby of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilara, and Avril Lavigne. She has the shitty britney dance moves, which means that only her arms, hands and face really move. Her hairstyle is a blatant and shitty rip-off of christina aguilara's "dirrty" phase, and her fashion sense is the clothes avril lavigne rejected.
Someone needs to put a bullet through this girl's head before she winds up living in a trailer park with her 8 children, her fat, hairy, lazy husband, 3 watch dogs, and massive piles of cats. All the while her tits are scraping the ground while she wheels herself around in her extra large hoverround because she lost a leg to diabetes, and shes so fat she can store whole meals in her warm, moist fat rolls.
britney
