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So, I decided to go fake bake at the tanning salon, half price Summer discount, to address the uneven results of my yard work.  My bathroom is way in the back of the house and is hot as hell.  Ok, so the door is open.  I warn that I will be preparing my fat ass for the sun.  "Don't come back here, I'm naked." So as I'm accelerating and oiling for the event, I sense a presence.  I look out and have to lower my eyes down to my 2 year old grand daughter who is mesmerized by my dented old ass.  Crap.  She had a combo of fear and curiosity in her stare.  It was too late--she has already been blinded.  The only thing for me to say as I calmly closed the door is "This is what happens when you don't eat all your vegetables."  Poor child.  She is eating some green beans right now. :-)