Still smelling of Pine Sol ......

A year ago my life was heading toward new and exciting changes.  Ones I had fought so hard for. 

Little did I know that less than a month and a half later .... it would be over.  The fight for the job lasted longer than the job itself.  The pain the job inflicted ..... I will carry forever. 

Not a day goes by where I don't wonder how the girls are.  Just hoping that the light has shown through on them and they have come to some kind of terms with letting go of their "bad" selves.  They had hope ..... I had hope for them.

The jump from the bridge .... could have taken a life .... a life that was in my care.  The life was spared.  But my own psyche took a hit that day. 

I found receipts from all of my training, my schooling, my attorney ...... it just wasn't supposed to end like it did.  I spent more to get the job than I ever made back.  Crazy, huh?

This is what I get for digging through old paperwork to sort.  There was a reason it had sat collecting dust for so long.  I subconsciously knew how painful it would be to go through this stuff, putting it all away for good, once and for all.  Telling myself the ability to deal with it at all is a step .... towards some sort of healing still remaining to be done. 

Ok, enough of these kinds of memories on Memorial Day.  Enough.

Peace.  J.



 
   

 


 
 
astro1701 on
Re: Who Knew?
enough..
start a fire in a drum or outside fire ring--to help clear this outta you
iliketiedye on
Re: Who Knew?
yep ...... yep ..... yep ..... Smiley

agreed ..... something needs to be done .....

Peace.  J.
astro1701 on
Re: Who Knew?
if anything, light a candle on this dreary day
iliketiedye on
Re: Who Knew?
going to do just that ...... ((((hugs))))

Peace.  J.
ubu13 on
Re: Who Knew?
I need to go back through your archives and catch up on your life a little.  Thanks for sharing something which is obviously painful.  Purifying with sage helps me...Namaste, A.

iliketiedye on
Re: Who Knew?
Thanks ..... I really do need to try something .....

Its funny how you think you are over something until you pick up something as simple as a piece of paper ..... and it brings everything home again.

A picture of the girls I speak of ..... taken from my frig so many months ago .... and put away popped up as well today ..... just seeing their faces ..... its hard to explain.

Thanks for reading ..... and responding ...... and offering some help ..... much appreciated!

Peace.  J.
ubu13 on
Re: Who Knew?
I hope you can do something good for yourself today, J.  Even something as simple as a bubble bath helps. 

 

Yes, simple things, like a smell can bring something back immediately. 

Best to you, Namaste, A.


 
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