Damn, you have no idea what it takes to find a working computer in this crazy country! Actually, most of them work, but they are all in Internet cafes that require 1 Euro per hour. And I'm cheap. So I use the computer lab at school, which is free, which means most of the computers don't work. And that's my roundabout explanation for why it's taken me so long to get back to you.

 

Anyway, you're right. I shouldn't let criticism and judgment weigh me down. I need to find a way to say "They can criticise and judge me all they want, I'm living for me and no one else." I'm working on it.

 

Peace and light...You wouldn't happen to be Wiccan by any chance, would you? Reminds me of the salutation "Blessed be," which is common among Pagans. Much of your wisdom also seems to have a Pagan ring to it, which is probably why it makes sense to me. Just wondering. Hope you're doing well!

Hi Michelle, I have certainly been leaning heavily toward Wiccan reasoning lately.. I have been looking into shamanism... well, since about thirteen years ago when I first encountered hallucinogens.  I have so far refused to name my faith, not for want of trying, but i suppose one day I'll be thinking about it and say, "You know what, I think I'm a Wampanoag medicine man reincarnated!"

(I use that example hypothetically.)

Anyway, the point is, I identify with far too many diciplines to nail myself to one of them, but Wicca is certainly one which I haven't put behind me yet.  It's sad, but that's as definitive as I get regarding faith.

I believe in a higher power, and this higher power is both god and goddess (or neither, if you prefer); all things emanate from this higher form.  (If you look in the kabbalah, there's a great description of a "planet" or heavenly body which represents god's manifestation, and this body translates into successively more physical dimensions until it's on this plane of existence.  At that point it appears as "creation."  So in the reverse it is possible, through attainment of a higher consciousness or vibration, to attain "godhead.")  The term godhead is borrowed from Hindu mythology, but it's amazing - and ironic - how appropriate names from opposing faiths are for each other.

 

Anyway..

 

I'm sure that rant has you wondering why you asked if I was Wiccan.   But that's as close to saying yes as I can get right now.  Forgive me my fence-sitting?

 

I do love "blessed be."   What a lovely expression.

 

Thanks for writing back.

 

Steve

Okay.. a little more on the definition of my spirituality..  I sat for a painter a few evenings ago, and she and I  got talking about how we thought of ourselves spiritually. 

She put it like this (and I agreed, having arrived at a similar conclusion during meditation).

There's an energy (The Source) which originates all other energies (sentient beings and everything) and which renders individual personalities irrelevant.  In relation to this energy we simply ARE, and all of us are directly descended from it as individuals.  This energy RUNS THINGS, and we would not exist without it.  This is what people attempt to explain with their names for god and with scientific definitions.

All these are merely attempts to explain the unexplainable.

The Source is by definition beyond our scope of reference, yet it is where we are all trying to get to.

 

 

Peace and light.

 

Steve

Wow, if I was as eloquent as you are, I would think of spirituality in a very similar way. I'm still trying to train myself to enter a purely meditative state of mind. It's harder than it looks! I always wind up remembering something I need to do, and jumping up to do it before I forget...either that, or falling asleep, lol. I have had a few lucid dreams though...don't you love those?

 

Happy Winter Solstice!

Hi Michelle,

 

Have you read any Starhawk?  I somehow think you have.  If not, then she is a practicing witch in the northwest US.  In addition to writing and talks on Wicca and eco-activism, she also holds permaculture workshops.  It may be something to look into when you graduate.

Anyway, I would recommend "The Spiral Dance" and "The Earth Path" if you haven't encountered them already.

 

By all accounts, if you fall asleep while meditating, then your body needed the sleep.  Natural responses are just that, natural, and may be allowed to happen without guilt.  I know it's tempting to fight off sleep or to resist getting up to do a chore, but until your mind is at ease you cannot practice being at peace, and that is what meditation is: practice.  So sleep if you need it.  For your odd tasks, try leaving a small notepad where you practice.  It can be useful for getting things off your mind when you'd rather remain where you are (e.g. - after this, go feed the cats, etc).  Once you get in a rhythm of practice you will know what needs to be done before you start rather than having to interrupt yourself.  It's rather like a buddhist monk ritually cleaning the meditation space before commencing practice. 

 

One thing I can recommend is allowing yourself to meditate rather than trying.  Trying is not doing, and presents your very first obstacle.  There is still intention in allowing.

The second thing I should mention is walking meditation.  I feel like this is the path by which I came to meditation, but it may not be right for everyone.

If you want to try it, you might start like this:  go for a walk and concentrate on your breathing (don't change your breathing, just be aware of it).  Then feel your feet touching the ground, and feel the ground touching you back.  Listen to the birds, the wind in the trees, and feel your steps get lighter.  You'll eventually become aware that your internal commentator has fallen quiet.  This is a good practice for connecting with nature.  Starhawk has some great meditations

There are innumerable levels of this quiet, and if you read Deepak Chopra on Transcendental Meditation, you will discover the

oops

so it should continue from here:

This is a good practice for connecting with nature.  Starhawk has some great meditations along these same lines.

There are innumerable levels of this quiet, and if you read Deepak Chopra or Maharishi on Transcendental Meditation, you will discover the description of "bubbles of thought"being released frm your subconscious; starting small and becoming conscious thought ("Did I leave the iron on?"   "What did I eat for breakfast?").  In TM, the practitioner "dives" between these thoughts - for they are sequential in time and there is a slight delay before the next one arrives - and travels towards the subconscious, beyond it, and into the field of pure potentiality (god, manon, the source, etc).

 

Anyhow,  I am off to bed.

 

I'm a bit sore from work this week.  tree planting and brush clearing before leaving that job for the holiday.

Also there was fungus-amongus last night, and that has left me in need of a good rest.

 

hope all is well.

 

Happy Solstice/Christmas.

 

peace and light,

 

Steve.

Merry Christmas, if you celebrate it! I've actually not read Starhawk before, but I know who to look for at my next trip to Barnes & Noble. It's always uplifting to read about people who practice non-traditional religions even in this Judeo-Christian country of ours, and to know that not all of them appear on Montel Williams to predict the future for audience members!

 

Actually, when I'm by myself on a walk outdoors, that's when I tend to find myself in as close to a meditative mind as I've ever gotten (while awake, that is). Peaceful, almost like I am viewing the world from outside of myself, if that makes any sense.

 

Hope you're enjoying the holidays, and have a happy new year!

Merry Christmas to you too..   So many people around me celebrate it that I send out the energy and give gifts as well; but under normal circumstances, I think I would give gifts at all times of the year.  Maybe according to the stars or people's birthdays.. or just when I felt like it (but I do that already).

 

I don't think it's any accident that we feel more in touch and meditative when we're in nature.  Nature is really the only source of energy there is.  There are supposedly points of power across the globe.  There are also personal "power spots" where individuals have a special relationship with that location.  I'm sure you have felt that before.

 

Looking at it from another angle; nature is also the only true source of wealth, as well.  Anything else which claims to be wealth is only borrowing from nature.  Take money, for instance.  Theoretically money represents the wealth of a man, woman or of a nation.  But since nations print money based on demand and on supposition, not on actual representation of recources, money is just a lie.  Going even further, the resources themselves should ideally act as their own money, for how can there be money in the bank and resources in another place (in a forest, for example)?  That means inflation is automatically double, but they "incorporate" that into their calculations so that it's not apparent.

 

Anyhow, that was a bit of a rant.  But yes, check out Starhawk.  If you feel at home in nature, then you might be interested in reading about Permaculture, too.  Starhawk's book "The Earth Path" combines Wicca spirituality and some basic ideas about permaculture (which she also teaches).

 

Otherwise, for good permaculture sources, check out Bill Mollison, David Holmgren (the two men who coined the term in the late 70's) and Toby Hemenway ("Gaia's Garden").

I've spoken to Toby via email (we have a mutual friend) and he's a nice guy; down to earth and smart.  His book is really the American version of a permaculture manual.  This can be useful for growing species which are suited to your area.

Mollison and Holmgren wrote Permaculture One together and then went their separate ways.  Mollison went on to write, tour, teach, build and consult around the globe.  His work culminated in "Permaculture: A Designer's Manual."

Holmgren also continued in the field, though some would say on a lesser scale.  He lives at a permaculture demonstration site ("Melliodora") in Australia, and his writing culminated in "Permaculture: Principles and Pathways Beyond Sustainability." 

 

So, I'm sure you didn't expect a bibliography when you wrote to wish me happy Christmas.  But, you did mention going to Barnes & Noble, and that place is a candy store, so I though I'd at least throw out a line.

 

I hope you had a nice Christmas with your family, Michelle.

 

(I'd say don't get too hammered on New Year's, but I think I'll leave it up to you.)

I'll be having fun with fungi here.

 

Peace,

 

Steve.

Happy New Year!

 

Peace,

 

Steve