all i want to do is call your cell phone and hear your voice.  why did you do this to me?  it was a cruel fucking trick and i don't appreciate it at all.  it took a lot of courage for me to do what i did and let you back in. and then you fucking leave 6 months later?  how is that right?  how is that fair?  this is such fucking bullshit and so true to how everyone has fucking treated me my entire life.... it's ok, she'll clean up the mess later.  well now i am that mess thanks to you.  i'm so fucked up the thoughts in my own head are starting to scare me.  and trust me that's hard to do since my thoughts have been derranged for quite some time that i've grown immune to their disturbing nature.  so thanks again for pulling through for me.  really, your track-record says it all.  well, at least you're consistant.