Obviously I know nothing about your relationship. But I can relate to looking back on the “good times” and somehow forgetting how not well things have actually been going. For years I shamefully allowed myself to be abused by a partner who would give affection only as a tool to keep me on a leash. I have to constantly remind myself that she was abusive and that no matter what good I may have felt, there was always much more pain.
It is a cruel joke how easily humans can be cowed into being emotionally abused.
Perhaps all of that is just my projecting my problems. Like I said, I know nothing about your situation. Anyway. I’m sorry that things have been shitty. Regardless of what form that has taken.
Thank you for this and for sharing your story with me.