It seems uncertain
I wish it was forgone
To know the version
That made life go wrong

Wish I had a clue
What rearranged our molecules
Mostly wondering
It seems uncertain

In times of trouble
Everyone joins a team
No one waves a flag
For all human beings

No one’s excited
Unless they are divided
Someone’s going to have to give in
It seems uncertain

I’d like to be
One of the faithful millions
But what I see
Is an excuse for the killing

Your denomination
Should be a private thing
How about a spirit
For all human beings?

How could something well guided
Turn out to be divisive
Mostly wondering
It seems uncertain

that's the kind of unity I'm talking about.  None of this petty self-interest bullshit I've seen lately from most of you:
    "I think I’ll sacrifice a friendship because I'm in denial"
    "I think I'll write an angry blog the other will never see"
    "I think I’ll change the subject so they don't make a real point"
    "I think I’ll turn around and not talk anymore because he's about to make a point that will slap me across the face"
    "I think I'll only worry about me"
    "I think I'll kill 33 college kids and myself later today"


    Ridiculous.  What the hell happened to the world?  In Tokyo, the world's largest city (35 million people!), they have almost no crime.  No one kills anyone.  No one robs anyone.  No one rapes anyway.  No one steals someone else's car.  It's simpler, and people are real.  They aren't worthless piles of self-absorbed feces bent on conquering earth so they can punish the infidels.  The amazing thing about humans is their ability to psychologically destroy one another and yet bounce back.  The resiliency of the human being absolutely baffles me.  We can be torn to bits, ripped to shreds, and summarily sliced into pieces, yet we're back in action a short time later, taking names and kicking ass.  Enter, Sheldie.



While we're on the "I'm sick of people and everything to do with them" streak, let's talk about the concept of "like" and "love" and what the difference is.  I know, I know: you're thinking that love means that you can't live without that person.  Wrong-oh, bob-a-loo.  See, then it becomes a need, whereas love is a want.  "Like" is to have a high regard or respect for someone.  Love is the desire to give, to share, and to have intimate relations.

I'll let that sink into the minds of an audience that would never describe it that way.

Continuing, I'd like to point out that she didn't love me, just liked me a lot.  In fact, I think only two or three girls have ever actually loved me.  She's not on of them.  She's what we call a whole basket of boiling crazy.  She refuses to let those who know her and can help her actually get near to her, and instead relies on total strangers.  I also find the cute little hopefulness in "social dating" as a welcome escape from liking me so much.  Let's be honest: she's lied to herself about that too, and there's no changing the last year or so.  As for me, I agree with Zick Rubin once again: "she may indeed be very desirable, but she is by no means irreplaceable."   Deep inside your soul, there's a hole you don't wanna see, and every single day what you makes no sense to me.

    "Social dating," as referred to above, does not exist.  That's not dating, and I pity the fool of a man who falls victim to this horrid form of a sick toss onto the friend ladder or straight into the Abyss.  Poor bastard, and he was so hopeful that he'd actually be going on a date.  Nope.  Guess again, sucker: you're going on hang-out time to help someone deal with an emotional problem they don't know how to deal with so they repress their thoughts and feelings deep inside and let them fester.  Fester away, my dears, fester away.
    Why does it not exist?  I once heard that the definition of a date is that someone will be kissing someone at the end of it (unless it goes well, then it's farther toward the beginning).  I've only been on a few dates with Christine, but God knows we've hung out a lot.  Belief and enthusiasm don't equal success.  Sorry, educators of the world, but you're wrong.  It's a nice thought, but it's highly inaccurate and way too lofty.
        Speaking of both of those, I live in eastern Idaho, which means I've met a lot of enthusiastic believers.  Oh, they're so fervent...almost makes me wanna cry.  Just kidding.  It makes me sick.  Anyway, if belief and enthusiasm equal success, why hasn't Jesus come back yet?  I'm waiting.  Billions believe, and they've been willing to go to war for it the last 1500 years or so, so where is he?  Dead.  That's where.  And not coming back.  Again: it's a nice thought, but it'll never happen.  Get on with it and solve your own problems.  Prayer is just dolled up meditation.

    The ladder theory is the most brilliant thing ever.  Completely covers everything anyone would need to know.

    The main problem with people is that they're worthless and conforming.  Will anyone think on their own? Nooooo.  And here we have high school: everyone's a jackass and I hate them.  We were in psychology talking about the shootings in Virginia.  Cassidy asked us if he gave us a gun and told us we wouldn't get in trouble for it, would we go kill someone?  Most people said no...they had no problems with the way people are.  I'd have shot almost everyone in that room.  As sociopathic as that sounds, I promise I have a conscience and I'm not going to do it.  That's a sad excuse for anything.
    Don Imus!  Okay, so he gets fired for calling some girls hoes on his radio show.  Radio show.  Snoop Dogg drops the phrase at least a dozen times in absolutely every song, yet he walks free and employed by the homophobic, thug/gangster wannabes who walk around with their chains and "bling bling" trying to rap like the Ghetto boys or the Sugarhill gang.   Not gonna happen.  Get a life, grow up, and act like you've got a pair.

    Speaking of having a pair, I'm utterly fascinated by the emo drummer and his gay-looking companion, emo II.  They're possibly the gayest couple I've ever seen, and yet the tampons shoved in their delicate, pink vaginas somehow attracts the mass towards them.  I know we're all people and I'm all about accepting people, but this emo shit has got to go.  Dressing like a fag and looking like that, and then being in ballroom dancing and wearing a bright orange shirt is absolutely ridiculous.  Almost as ridiculous as my relationship with a certain young woman who's almost as utterly useless as the one I just wasted a year with.
    So she flips back and forth between talking and not talking for about a week, then asks me what the chances of there being an "us" are.  Okay.  I answer that it's pretty good from my end, but relationships are two-way.  She agrees.  We set up a date to see how things go, and she doesn't show.  She gets called to work and to do stuff around the house and run errands.  (I had a hard time believing it, but fuck it).  Doesn't even call.  Doesn’t say a thing.  No apology either.  I go to Boise for the jazz festival the next day and then we don't talk for 2 1/2 weeks.  She never calls, doesn't talk to me online, no messages of any sort, and then waits until I kill myself to talk to her.  By this point, you can imagine I'd be a little pissed off.  I say "you don't care, do you?  you don't give a shit either way" and somehow I'm the one with the sudden mood swings that she doesn't want to deal with.  This is a brief outline, so I can't describe either my anger or the insanity of this statement in the light that she's screwed up beyond belief.  So I just tell her that I'm sick of it too and we shouldn't talk until she figures life out.  Oh well.  "she may indeed be very desirable, but she is by no means irreplaceable."
    Enter, Natalie.  Great girl, bunches of fun, loves video games, knows how to treat a man (if ya know what I mean).  Awesome.  I'm lovin it.  I made one date, she's makin the rest, and it's pretty consistent so far.  Ah, a girl who's normal and genuinely interested.  I think I'll take a moment to reflect on the glory of the situation.

*moment's pause*

enough.  back to work.
    Women who lead a man on: fuck you guys.  Women who go back to their worthless boyfriends:  fuck you guys.  Women who do both:  now it's personal.  From this point on, I can't look at you the same.  Now I know that you're a whore bent on destruction.  Then there are the people, oh so similar, that can talk all the jive they want when you're not around, but the moment you step foot within earshot, silence ensues.  I've had it happen, and I'm sure you have.  Examples?  Here you go:
    Guest spot!  We're bringing in a special guest to comment on this particular subject!  Here's what this person had to say:  "Its like the Japanese vs America in WWII, in their minds they were victorious but once they attacked they found it to be an overwhelming retaliation that was unbeatable....same concept. In their mind, they're right...but they wont bring it out into the open because they know they will be proved wrong."
Ah, uplifting.
    I play trombone off the side of my mouth, and I'm okay with that: so does Kent and about half the professional players in the world.  If that's you're only stipulation to the way I play, go fuck yourself.  If you're so jealous that I'm lead chair and section leader, go pee on yourself.  Practice, motivate yourself, I don't care but get good enough to replace me.  Don't just piss and moan in a corner like a little girl who got her new sun bonnet dirty. 

Insensitive jerk?  Sure.

Exit, Sheldie, stage left.