conversation

"tell me how you look at yourself, through your eyes."

I'm the complete opposite of myself.  I'm a whiney, self-loathing narcissist who just needs to be loved. I treat others the way I treat myself, which is like shit most the time, and I hardly show that I actually care about anything when I care more than anyone else on earth.  I'm cold, I'm hot, I have very little patience but I'll wait as long as I have to because I'm utterly pathetic, but you'd never notice it on a day to day basis.  I've never gotten over anything or anyone; I just push it down deeper and try to ignore it, but it has a very stealthy way of popping up later and killing everything I want.  I have a quick temper most of the time and a recurring alcohol problem.  I use people to entertain myself and then wonder why they stop talking to me.     There. Everything you didn't want to hear and I didn't want to say.

"Then how come you're the most well-rounded person I know?  You care and it really shows.  You make rational decisions, you're valued by many people. You try, you fail, and you'll try again if it's truly worth it.  You're clever, and have just enough inhibitions to keep you out of trouble, but still have enough fun and be entertaining.  You're truly the only gentleman I am acquainted with.  You're classically perfect, plus some.  Despite whatever you think, you still have all that going for you, and it's way more powerful because you doubt it and try to compensate.  If I 'barely' know you and I can say that much, then there's still a lot of stuff out there that I'm missing out on."

Well, you DID fail to mention stunningly handsome.

"That's not a personality trait, but yeah, that too.  I think your confidence is bipolar and your self-consciousness is schizophrenic."

The confidence thing is about half talk, half serious.  Depends largely on the topic of conversation. Right now, just talk.  And the self-consciousness thing...you're probably right.




you're still cute, but you're still wrong.