Okay, so it seems like I came down with a cold and a bit of a fever.  No big deal, I can handle that.  However, this little package of sick came with an added bonus: the most violent, painful hiccups I've ever experienced in my life.  I truly wanted someone to rip my esophagus out simply for relief.  I was planning on doing DIY gastro-intestinal surgery to replace my diaphragm with a plastic serving tray.  Anything to make my body stop spasming.

It was funny at first, with the loud hiccupping noises I was making during class and the like... but then came the jack hammering pain.  I couldn't get the damn things to stop.  I drank water, I held my breath, I breathed into a paper bag, I had my friend Phil try to "take" my hiccups for me (a trick, I think, that would normally work).  Nothing.  These bastards didn't want to go away.  I've had them kick on about seven or eight times and each time they get worse.  I fear the next they rear their ugly tissue they'll pop my lungs clean out of my chest.

It's a pile of suck... but I may have finally controlled them.  Going on 6 hours now and no relapse.  Wish me luck.