I am SO stressed out about moving. We have roughly a month to be out of here, and I dont know what to do anymore. I really dont. I hate to move, I hate all my belongings that need to be packed, and I hate my apartment that needs every surface scrubbed down.
And I there is this person I cannot stop thinking about. Its terrible. I feel so pathetic. I feel like its my mind playing games with me.. I only want him so much because it is unobtainable.. I dont really know. It feels real. But when I DID have him I dont think I thought about him as much as I do now. I mean, that seems messed up.. Somehow. Gah. Every direction my life was going in is now totally blurred.
And just to put the cherry on top of my out of control thoughts. I was supposed to go work at school today.. but I slept too late. AND I missed the meeting yesterday, because I forgot and thought it was today. But I would have missed it today anyways because I slept so long. I feel like the unreliable worker that they are trying to figure out how to fire.. and I dont even get paid! But that sure doesnt stop me from feeling like shit about it. Not at all.
mindsay
