A Friendly Wager part 3 or Lovers and Poets

I don't recall having done so, but I must have fallen asleep while writing, for my first sensation was that of my neck aching intensely. I was in the midst of a dream, with Bennie by my side, and we were enjoying each other's company immensely. Then, somehow, Mundee took Bennie's place and she was just as luscious and adventurous as Bennie had been... then the knife appeared and I awoke to a terrible pain in my neck.

It turned out to be only a cramped muscle, as my head was propped in my hands at a rather odd angle. I looked around the darkened room to gather my wits. By the sounds coming from outside the window, it was now in the very early hours of a new day, the day of the poetry contest, to be exact. Roosters in various places were crowing their announcements at the coming of the sun, and birds could be heard chirping and twittering in full voice.

I pushed my chair away from the desk and stood to stretch. Scanning the litter around my desk, I remembered that I hadn't come up with a final poem. It struck me ironic that I should be as stumped with this poetry contest as Sam was in attempting to write about gardening. I simply couldn't recall having gone through so much paper.

As I began to clean up the crumpled and wadded pages, I would open them, trying to remember what I was thinking at the time. A few looked promising, so I set them aside in order to study after I had first breakfast.

It was much earlier than I usually awoke, my stomach was already beginning to rumble. I padded down the hallway to the kitchen, still trying to think up a poetic phrase that would work. I even tried to compare 'love' to the items I was working with. "Love is like an egg... perfect in shape, but easily broken... just like a heart."

I had to shake that idea out of my head. Besides, that wasn’t exactly the message I wanted to send to my "audience."

I finished my breakfast, pushed aside my empty plate and fell to perusing the most promising poems. I was still deliberating when Sam arrived. I must have looked rather poorly to him, for the look he gave me as he came through the door was one of concern.

"Hain't ye 'ad any sleep, Mister Frodo?" he asked.

"I did get some sleep," I offered, rubbing the crick in my neck as I did. "But I didn’t go to bed, I've been working on the poem most of the night, and I still haven’t come up with something satisfactory."

Sam gave me another look, causing me to wonder if he knew what had actually taken place here, last evening, after he'd left. "Sor, Oi suggest ye go lay down fer a bit. Once y've rested, Oi'm sure the words will come ter ye like that!" He snapped his fingers for emphasis.

"I'm really not tired, Sam."

"Well, get out an' walk fer a bit." He was doing his best to shoo me out of Bag End. "You know...t' clear yer 'ead. And, Oi’ll tidy up in here."

"Oh Sam, you don’t have to do that!"

"Oi don’t mind. Now go on!" he insisted.

I looked at the small sheaf of papers I had brought with me into the kitchen, then looked outside. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't do any harm to get a short walk. Thank you, Sam."

Moments later I was on my way, intent on avoiding the village and heading for the small woods just West of the Hill. Other folk were stirring, too. Farmers who had risen before the sun to tend to the milking of their goats and cows, and other chores, were already well into their day.

I was just passing by one of the smaller farms when I heard a feminine voice call out my name. "Frodo?"

I stopped and turned around to face her. "Mundee?" And indeed, it was. She was just emerging from the front door of the Tunnelly residence.

"What are you doing here?" we both asked in surprise at the same time, and then laughed.

"You first," I offered.

"Well," Mundee began. " Robin Tunnelly’s wife cut her hand badly and I thought she could use some of that herbal ointment that I keep on hand. But I also offered to help with some of her morning chores. "

She suddenly seemed a little concerned about her appearance, for she brushed a stray strand of hair from her face rather self-consciously.

I found myself looking her over carefully. She was dressed simply enough, looking more like a scullery maid than a lady of wealth. Still, it was not at all unbecoming. Even her glasses didn't detract from her natural beauty. Her hair was damp and held back with a ribbon, with stray strands curling around her lovely face.

And without thinking, I said, "You’re looking lovely this morning, Mundee."

She smiled and turned a delicate shade of pink, yet her eyes flashed for a moment with something that belied demureness. Suddenly, she looked about, as if to see if anyone was watching, then stood on tiptoes and bestowed a kiss upon my cheek.

"Might I assume you are headed out on one of your walks?" she asked as she pulled away.

"Yes...I...um...was thinking of that." I answered in a distracted voice.

"It’s rather early for you, though, isn’t it?"

I noticed that as she spoke, she unconsciously toyed with the ribbon on her blouse. It brought to mind images of a recent encounter, and an unbidden thought came to me...I wondered if she would undo that ribbon just for me. I berated myself for even entertaining such a thought. Mundee was not Bennie. Even so, that still didn’t mean it was alright to think of ‘having’ Bennie, either.

"Hmmm? Oh...ah...yes...I suppose so..." I floundered.

Mundee looked at me hard. "Frodo, are you all right? You sound...well...rather strange. Is there something I can do?"

Again, her words stirred up visions fueled by last night’s events. I licked my lips nervously. There was something she could do for me. I just wasn't sure if she'd oblige. And, I certainly wasn’t about to ask her.

"No...I’m fine, really." I replied, trying to control tightening of my throat.

"Well , the least I can do is join you in your walk. Might I?" she asked, as she now linked her arm with mine.

"I... no, that wouldn't...I mean I have to-"

"You have to finish your poem."

Now it was my turn stare. "What? How did you know?"

Mundee laughed unpretentiously. "I ran into Fatty Bolger last night. Or rather, he ran into me."

"Fatty?" I hoped I sounded unflustered. "What... did he have to say?"

Mundee toyed with that ribbon again. "Oh, nothing that I didn't already know about."

Nothing, it seemed was private nor sacred anymore, I thought. I cleared my throat. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, Fatty and Folco really need to choose whom they tell secrets to. Ted Sandyman can't keep a secret. Especially if he thinks he can trade it for a free ale."

"Oh. Then you know..."

"About the poetry contest? Yes, I know." She let go of my arm and began to undo the ribbon holding back her hair, and shook it free in the morning breeze. Then she took my arm again, as we resumed walking. (We had been strolling together, after all, even though that was not what I had intended.)

"You weren't supposed to know about it," I said, ruefully.

Mundee cocked her head sideways as she looked at me. "Is there something else I should know about, Frodo?"

"Hmm?" I replied, hoping that she’d think I hadn’t heard clearly, while I searched for some way to change the subject.

"Didn’t you have a visitor last night?"

"Now, Mundee...," I started babbling. "It wasn't my idea for her to show up at my door."

It was a well known fact in the Shire that Mundee and Bennie weren’t exactly overly fond of one another. There was a fair amount of jealousy on the part of the foster sisters, and there had verbal exchanges and even a couple of physical scuffles between the two girls.

However, Mundee was silent as I blathered on about the poem and Bennie and whatever else popped into my mind.

When I finished, she smiled. Then she sidled closer to me and said, "I was referring to Mister Gamgee, but go on. I'd love to hear just what Bennie was up to." I was more than a little surprised as she rested her hand lightly against my chest. Her fingers played absently with the buttons of my waistcoat, almost as she had toyed with the ribbon of her blouse. "Although, I'm fairly certain it was more than listening to your poetic turn of phrase." She finished.

The tone of her voice sounded playful, but I couldn’t be sure. I wondered just how much she knew of what had gone on between Bennie and me the previous night. And if the knowledge had emboldened her. For although Mundee was no shrinking violet, and true she had kissed me on occasion, it was not like her to touch me in such a familiar fashion. She was younger than Bennie and much more naive when it came to "worldly" matters. Her touch sent a rush of delight through me and I found myself fascinated as to what she might do next.

I even let myself fantasise that she might undo my shirt. But she sighed suddenly and pulled away, and instead grabbed my hand.

"Perhaps we should discuss matters in a...shall we say...a little more 'secluded' spot?" She grinned and gave me a wink before tugging on my arm to get me moving again.

We walked along the path that led into the woods. When the path forked, Mundee yanked my hand and literally pulled me off the path and led me off in yet another direction.

"Mundee," I asked, amused at her intensity. "Just where do you think you're going?"

"I know a little place... off in this...," she explained as she stopped just long enough to get her bearings. "... Yes, in this direction. Come on!"

A few more twists and turns of the path and the thicket opened out into a lush, green meadow. "How did you know about this place?" I asked as she settled herself down in the grass under a rather large oak tree.

"I was out walking one day last week and happened to see Fastred Brandybuck with some lass on the path ahead, so rather than be seen by them, I ducked into the woods and just kept walking. Didn't mean to go exploring, but I'm glad I happened on it."

She patted the ground next to her. "Come. Sit down." When I hesitated, she gave me a coy grin. "I promise not to bite."

As I sat down next to her, she leaned back on her elbows and basked in the early morning sunlight. "Doesn't the sun feel wonderful?" she asked, as she sat back up, and stretched her arms. "Now, about Bennie..."

I waited, wondering what I should tell Mundee regarding Bennie's visit. Not that I felt that Mundee would be angry with me. I just wasn't sure I wanted to indulge her with the details.

Mundee must have guessed, for she took my hand and squeezed it gently. "Frodo, you really don't have to divulge anything to me regarding Bennie. I'm fairly certain as to what she was up to."

Then she leaned over and kissed me. Not a cousinly peck on the cheek. It was very much like the very first kiss she'd ever given me... at Brandy Hall, at the party celebrating Bennie's ill-fated betrothal to Fastred Brandybuck... when Mundee had been blindfolded by some of the other tweenagers and told she had to kiss the very next person who appeared in the darkened hallway.

I had to smile at that memory. I never knew the girl had it in her to kiss as she did. I recalled first the shock, and then the pleasure that seemed to grow as her kissing intensified. If Bennie's kiss tasted of honey, Mundee's was like that of ripe Spring berries clinging on the vine.

This time around, there was no Merry lighting a lantern and laughing at whom it was that Mundee had snagged. I took her in my arms and reciprocated her kisses in kind. She settled back against the sturdy old oak as I pressed closer to her, my hands caressing her shoulders. In return, she allowed her fingers to trace a tender trail. At first hesitantly, then more adventurous, as her touch moved from my neck to my chest, after she had boldly dared to release a few of my shirt buttons after all. I responded with a shiver as her touch sent tiny waves of pleasure throughout my body.

However, that same little voice, the one in my head that had interfered with Bennie’s ministrations last night, now made its presence known once again, intent on spoiling the moment. First nudging, then nagging me to leave well enough alone. Reminding me that if it would have been wrong to take liberties with Bennie, it was doubly so with Mundee. However, I was inclined to ignore it. The frustrations of last night had left their effect upon me and this encounter coming so soon after the escapade with Bennie almost proved to be too much.

Then quite without warning, she broke off the kiss. Her eyes locked with mine and I could see the yearning there...the spark smoldering in her large brown eyes... a longing that somehow she managed to keep reined in. Her fingers traveled up to my face and she caressed my lips, her eyes following as if she were trying to capture this moment in her memories.

I cupped her face in my hands intent on continuing our dalliance. However, it was not to be, for she pulled away.

"What is wrong, Mundee?" I asked, attempting to coax her back into my arms.

She wavered, as though she was fighting the urge to continue. She finally gave a sigh, and shook her head 'no,' even as she caressed my hands and arms. She got to her feet, and looked about the meadow before she cast her gaze upon me one last time.

"I'm sorry, Frodo," she said, reluctance heavy in her words. "As much as I would love to continue... perhaps, even learn more about, um... each other....."

Her words trailed off as her face went scarlet. (I don’t know whether it was from embarrassment or lustful thoughts.) At any rate, I stood up and tried to draw her close, but she evaded my touch by backing away. She closed her eyes tightly, her hands doing the same as if she struggled with an inner demon.

"Frodo," she finally blurted as she began to back away from me. "I... I... can't do it. Try as I might, much as I want to, I-I.... just... can't!"

"Can't?" I was dumbfounded (as well as unbelievably frustrated).

"Believe me, Frodo," she said with all seriousness. "I lov-care for you," She caught herself,"as much--if not more so--than Bennie. But I am not able to be to you what Bennie can be. I want to be with you... but not like this."

I thought for a moment she was about to cry; she seemed so vulnerable. This time I did manage to pull her to me. I had to lift her chin to make her look me in the eyes.

I searched desperately for the right words to say. At last I managed, "Mundee, I understand."

Without another word, we gathered our few belongings and headed back to the path. I was fairly certain that I had spoiled my relationship with Mundee. As we neared the path, however, she dispelled any notion of that by suddenly taking my face in her hands and kissing me full and long on the lips.

"That shall have to suffice for now," she said, smiling at my dumbfounded expression. "I don’t want to lose you to Bennie or any other lass that might catch your fancy. Now, I shall leave you be, so you can finish that poem for tonight’s contest. I promise to listen to both you and Fastred and be fair in my judgment of your poetic endeavors."

She moved quickly down the path away from me before turning back to bestow a last glance. Whereupon she blew me a kiss and called out, "Until tonight!" before disappearing around the bend.

As soon as I returned home, I made up my mind to literally lock myself away in the study until I came up with a satisfactory poem. When at last I emerged, I may have been a bit disheveled, but I had finally written and memorized some lines of poetry that were more than satisfactory. I relieved Sam from his "guard duty" and sent him home in time for supper.

At 8 o’clock, the common room of The Ivy Bush was filled to the point of standing room only. Upon my entrance I was met with a many well-meaning slaps on the back along with a healthy dose of enthusiastic encouragement.

Fastred was already there when I arrived. He had a crowd of supporters gathered around him, among them, my sandy-haired cousin, Lotho Sackville-Baggins, who fairly oozed oily charm.

"About time you got here, Frodo!" Merry greeted me, and wasting no time, clapped a hand on my shoulder whilst grasping my elbow with the other. He then steered me to a corner where my own group of of supporters anxiously waited. Folco and Fatty were, without question, among them. There was the good-natured, mischievous face of my cousin Pippin and of course, Sam, who was trying hard not to evidence annoyance at Pippin’s endless chatter.

Mundee was already there, too, and she broke off her conversation with Sally Underhill long enough to greet me with laughing brown eyes. I flashed her a smile in return just as someone tapped me lightly on the shoulder. At the same time, the mirthful light in Mundee’s eyes fled. I turned to find myself starring into the blue pools that were Bennie’s eyes.

"Hello, Frodo," Bennie practically purred. "I know you'll win my heart tonight."

"Bennie!" another voice called out. Bennie's smile quickly turned into a scowl. It was Fastred, intent on making sure that he ruined Bennie's fun -- at least at the start, anyway.

Being this close to Bennie's face, I watched as she gritted her teeth before pasting on her 'devil may care' attitude just in time to turn and face her former fiancee.

Being this close to Bennie's face, I watched as she gritted her teeth before pasting on her 'devil may care' attitude before she turned to face her former fiancee.

"Hello, Fastred!" she said feigning surprise. "What ever are you doing here?"

"Hello, Love." Fastred replied, as he took her hand in his and kissed it.

I tried not to laugh as Bennie removed her hand from his looking for all the world like she had been touched by a huge garden slug.

However, Fastred hadn't seen her look or if he had he refused to let it bother him. However, before he could deliver one of his usual lines designed to charm and flatter the fairer sex, he was interrupted by yet another voice.

"I see you managed to arrange for both Mundee and Verbena to arrive." I recognised the voice in an instant, before even turning to see the newcomer. It was Lotho. His shifty personality practically evident in his affected. Polished tone. "I daresay, not without divulging the reason for the need of their presence..., hum, Frodo? Fastred?"

Bennie flashed him a pasted on smile. "Why, Cousin Lotho," she cooed, while putting her arms around my neck and managing to move as far away from Lotho's reach as possible. "I don't know what you are referring to! I merely came in to have a drink with the fellows before heading back to my hole. I had no idea that Frodo (and as an afterthought)... or Fastred would be here!"

"Dressed like that?" Lotho commented in a snide voice. In truth, she was dressed far better than she normally would have been if she had indeed only stopped at the tavern for a friendly drink.

About that time, Mundee joined our little group. Pointedly ignoring Bennie’s arms still entwined about my neck, she put on arm around my waist before giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Hello, Frodo." Then, with a friendly nod of acknowledgment to my opponent, "Fastred."

I caught a glimpse of Fastred’s face and the expression reflected on it was anything but pleasant. He was not used to being passed over so lightly by females. It was usually he who had the ladies literally hanging on him and on his every word. As, for myself, what with one girl’s arm around my waist and another girl’s entwined about my neck, I felt rather giddy. I don’t know if the feeling stemmed from the assault upon my emotions or lack of air as each girl tightened her grasp.

Determined not to be ignored by Mundee, Lotho bowed low in an exaggerated, grand geasture. "Good evening, to you, too, Miss Baggins."

"Oh, hello Lotho," she replied and.from the look she gave him, I could just imagine the foul taste she was experiencing while speaking to him.

"I gather that you and your sister," Lotho drawled and raised an eybrow. "just happened to come to the Ivy Bush this evening?"

"She is NOT my SISTER," Bennie snapped, not at all happy to be in the same room with Lotho or with Mundee. "And, I didn't know she would be here."

Mundee rolled her eyes. "Bennie, you know as well as I do what the occasion is tonight." She turned to face Lotho again. "Yes... I do know what is going to take place here."

Fastred turned on me in accusingly. "YOU! You had something to do with this, didn't you?!! Eveyone knows how these two," he indicated my lovely cousins with a wave of his hand,"bicker and brawl over you. Though I haven’t the faintest idea why..."

"Look Fastred, I really didn’t come here to pick a fight with you..." I began.

"Brawl?!" Bennie picked up on that word. " I resent that. You make it sound as if we’ve been rolling on a tavern floor..."

Fastred ignored the both of us and plunged on. "Oh wait, it can only be the immense wealth...that must be the attraction."

Fastred’s loud harangue had begun to attract the attention of some of those gathered for the poetry contest.

"Perhaps, we should change the contest from poetry to fisticuffs," suggested someone. "Let em duke it out! The winner is the last one still standin’!"

A ripple of laughter followed this comment.

"You haven’t got nearly the looks that I have." Fastred continued with sarcasm. "And, you couldn’t possibly be as smart as you think you are!"

"Oh, will you pipe down, Fastred!" Bennie broke in. "It's not difficult to learn any secret in this town. "

It was then that Mundee motioned Fatty and Folco closer. It was obvious that the two were beginning to sweat a bit, wondering if their little plan was spoiled.

"Really, Fatty, Folco," she said. "You need to learn to keep your mouths clamped shut about any of your plans. Ted Sandyman made sure to tell everyone and his cousin about tonight. AND, he made no small display to me that he wanted to be the one to recite poetry to me." She wrinkled her nose with that thought in her mind.

Both Fatty and Folco's countenances fell. Neither spoke as Fatty threw a helpless look at Folco, who was fidgeting with his waistcoat.

"You see," Bennie scolded Fastred, "as Mundee said, Ted Sandyman made sure that everyone who knows anyone knew what was going to happen. Why, even you , Lotho, learned about this affair, and you live miles from Hobbiton!"

Lotho practically glowered at her. "So do Merry and Pippin, for that matter. However, If you really must know, I am here on business." he said giving a dignified tug on his jacket lapel. "It was simply a case of being here at the right time and the right moment. Besides, I'd wager anything to see Frodo and Fastred fall flat on their faces. However, seeing as you two lasses know all about this, perhaps we should call the contest off. Eh?" He finished with a disparaging raise of an eyebrow.

Then, he glanced around the room as if looking for someone to second the motion. All he got was a dismissive wave of a hand from one old timer who proclaimed with a loud snort, "We all knew them two girls would find out, anyway!"

Merry spoke up now. "Afraid you'll lose, Lotho?"

"N-No, Lotho's...right," Folco stammered. "It was supposed to be a surprise so that there wouldn't be any bias on the part of Mundee and Bennie."

"You mean to say you don't feel us capable of making a fair judgment on how well these two handsome fellows can compose and recite poetry to us?" This was Mundee.

"Well...um... no." piped Fatty, which immediately prompted a smack on the back of his head from Folco.

Mundee grinned. "Well, then, you don't know me very well, do you? I say the wagers are still on. However, it should be on the talent behind the poems and not on the reaction of either me or Bennie."

"Exactly!" Said Bennie, agreeing with her foster sister for once. "There’ll be no favoritism on my part, either."

Fastred looked extremely doubtful at this, but he kept his mouth shut, perhaps fearing a smack on the head from Bennie worse than the one Fatty had received form Folco.

"Alright," Merry said. He turned to the crowd milling about. "What say we get this contest going! Of course, my wager," he grinned impishly. "Is on Cousin Frodo.

As we took our places, I wished I shared Merry’s confident enthusiasm....



t seemed that the crowd in the tavern common room had nearly doubled in the last twenty minutes or so. Last minute wagering could be heard between friends while everyone was being seated. Curiously, there were a number of females in the crowd, apart from the two judges. No doubt they wanted in the chance to increase their purse holdings. And, much to Sam’s mixed pleasure and trepidation, even Rosie Cotton was present, having gotten the night off from the Green Dragon, since apparently everyone was here at the Ivy Bush, anyway.

Fatty and Folco finally waved their hands trying to silence the crowd. Finally, in a desperate measure, Folco climbed on one of the tables and put his hands to his mouth and very loudly proclaimed, "Thank you one and all for joining us on this austere occasion!"

A few boisterous cheers erupted from the gathered throng, but Folco managed to get their attention once again. "As you know, a challenge was placed before two of our own. Fastred Brandybuck..."

Fastred made a big show out of bowing to the crowd. "...And Frodo Baggins."

"Go to it, Frodo!" someone shouted above the cheers. "Show 'im yer th' best!" The voice sounded suspiciously like the Gaffer’s.

"Ahem!" Fatty, who remained feet firmly planted on the floor, butted in. "Let us finish!"

Folco nodded and continued. "As I was saying, a challenge was placed before Fastred and Frodo to come up with an original poem to recite to the fair damsels that grace this room." He gestured to Bennie and Mundee who were standing at opposite sides of the crowd. "The ladies, and only the ladies, will decide the winner."

"What if they’re split on their opinions?" This from Pippin, who received a stern look from Merry.

For a brief instant Folco looked slightly perplexed, then his face brightened as he answered, "Well then, I suppose we’ll just have to have a...a...recite off, a rematch, so to speak."

I groaned inwardly at the thought, while Fastred boasted, "That’s fine by me! I have another poem handy for just such a case."

Folco walked over to Bennie and offered her his arm, while Fatty did the same with Mundee. "Ladies, if you please?"

For a moment, I wasn’t sure if either girl would take the arms offered to them, let alone allow Folco or Fatty to put their hands about their slender waists in order to lift them to a seated postion on the bar that had been hastily cleared off. Yet, both Mundee and Bennie submitted gracefully.

The fellows in the audience cheered loudly. "Come let me recite a poem or two ter ye, Bennie!" someone shouted. "Then we can have a roll in the hay afterwards!"

"The only rolling done would be you, Tolman Brownlock, " Bennie retorted, "screaming that I put your eyes out!"

Then someone else called out, "Marry me, Mundee! I'll make you happy!"

Mundee shook her head and rolled her eyes all the while smiling. "Now, Filbert Cobb, we all know that it's my inheritance that would make you happy."

As the crowd settled down, Fatty spoke. "Alright. The rules were simple. The poem must be original, at least four lines long and no longer than ten."

"Fastred? Frodo?" He motioned for the two of us to join him along with Folco. "Are you ready?"

"Of course, I am," Fastred said. "I've been ready for over a day now."

"And, it’s no lie he has more than one poem to choose from, too!" Ted Sandyman's voice carried over the crowd. "I've seen ‘em!"

As for me, I merely nodded, too nervous to say much else.

"Who’s going first?" questioned Merry

"We’ll decde by flipping a coin." replied Folco. "Who wants to do the honours?"

"I'll do it!," Merry shouted, then turned to Lotho. "Lotho, give me one of your gold pieces."

"I will not!" Lotho was quick to answer. "However, I would be delighted to do the honours."

"Why should you get to?" asked Merry.

"Just flip the flippin' coin, will ya?" a rather inebriated patron said. "Or we'll be 'ere all night waitin' fer you two to settle the argument!"

"Here! Here!" came several shouts..

Merry made a gesture for Lotho to toss the coin. "Call it, Frodo"

The coin flashed as it twirled in the air.

"Heads," I said.

Lotho raised a hand, ready to catch the coin as it started on its downward trip. But, quick as a flash, another hand snatched from under his nose. It was Pippin.

"I've got it!" he said and slapped it down on the table for Fatty and Folco to see.

"Tails. Fastred Brandybuck goes first!"

Fastred practically strutted to where Fatty and Folco stood. First he bowed low to Mundee and Bennie, and then to the boisterous crowd. It was obvious that he was loving the attention, and wanted to impress at least one of the lovely maidens. From where I stood, I had the distinct impression that although his movements during his poem were aimed towards Mundee, his eyes nearly always turned to watch Bennie's reactions. Thus, he began:

* "See! the mountains kiss high heaven," (He blew a kiss toward the girls.)

"And the waves clasp one another;" (He made as if to to hug himself.)

"No sister flower would be forgiven,

If it disdained it's brother;" (Nor a foster sister, I thought to mused to myself.)

Now, it was about this time that Mundee's face registered a look of surprise. Perhaps, I thought, she found Fastred's poetry quite pleasing. Then surprisingly she began to mouth the words along with Fastred!

"And the sunlight clasps the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--"

Suddenly, Mundee stood up, and said (much to Fastred's shock), "What are all these kissings worth,

If thou kiss not me?" *

A murmer went through the crowd as Mundee jumped down from the table and got right up in Fastred's face.

"Did you think, Fastred Brandybuck," she nearly hissed. "that I wouldn't recognize that poem?"

Fastred's face went pale before he smiled, albeit nervously. "I-I don't know what you are talking about, Mundee."

"Oh, yes you do," Mundee said. "Let me refresh your memory."

"It wasn't that long ago I told you of my Mother's love of poetry and that she had written down many a poem that she had heard during all her years of traveling with my Father outside the Shire. Did you not think I would recognize the only poem my Father had written for her?"

Fastred began backing slowly away from Mundee, but didn't get very far as Merry and Pippin moved to block his escape.

Again, a murmur rippled through the crowd. "How'd 'e get 'old of it, Mundee?" Fatty Bolger asked.

"I wondered where I had set that journal down. I figured I had merely set it down or loaned it to one of my students to copy as writing practice."

Lotho spoke this time. "You told me that poem was your own," he hissed in Fastred's ear. "I placed a crown that you would win. Mark my word, you'll pay for this."

"Now wait a minute, Lotho," Merry interrupted. "If it’s alright with Frodo and with the ladies, I suggest we give Fastred another chance. You did say you had more than one poem you could recite tonight, right?"

Fastred nodded, his eyes darting from one hobbit to another. "Y-yes, I did."

"One of your own?" inquired Folco with a touch of sarcasm.

"Of course!" Fastred sounded offended.

"Fine," Merry nodded as he spoke to the crowd. "Let Fastred gather his wits while Frodo recites his poem; then Fastred can try again. What say?"

"I don’t know..." The Gaffer spoke up, scrutinising Fastred with a steely glare. "Why did he try to cheat in the first place?"

Many pairs of eyes turned towards the offender, waiting to hear what he had to say in defense of himself. The tips of Fastred’s ears could be seen through his mop of curly golden-brown hair, turning a bright pink. He let out a stilted little laugh then said, turning on the charm, "Well...you must admit ...the poem was really good...so good, I just couldn’t resist."

There were a few laughs and more then a measure of disgruntled murmurs. However, after a minute or two if deliberation among the chief contest organizers, it was agreed to let Fastred have another go, after my attempt to dazzle and captivate the lovely ladies.

"Whenever you’re ready, Frodo..." Fatty stated.

"I’m ready." I replied, stepping forward. I drew a deep breath, and began.

* "Sweetest bud of beauty, may

No untimely frost decay

Th' early glories which we trace

Blooming in thy matchless face.

But kindly opening, like the rose,

Fresh beauties every day disclose,

Such as by Nature are not shown

In all the blossoms she has blown.

And then, what conquest shall you make,

Who hearts already daily take!" *

I finished my recital minus the histrionics exhibited by Fastred. All through the poem I had tried to divide my attention equally between Bennie and Mundee. Now, both of my cousins sat perched on the bar, silent and contemplative. As a matter of fact, the whole tavern was silent for a moment. I wasn’t quite sure how to take that. But then, some one burst into applause, and soon the room reverberated with the sound of many hands clapping.

Mundee smiled and joined in with the clapping. However, Bennie had other ideas. She jumped down from the table and did her best to to kiss me. I, however, managed to grab her hands before she could wrap them around my neck.

Thankfully, before she could lean forward to attempt another kiss, Pippin popped up beside us. "Ahem!" he said, mocking Folco's demeanor earlier. "I do believe ye have t' get back on yer beautiful perch an' wait until both contestants have given their recitals." With that said, he offered Bennie his arm like a gentlehobbit should.

Bennie gave our younger cousin a look that would have singed the hair of any other male, but Pippin was either too naive or too inebriated to even notice as he offered his arm, again.

"Go on, Bennie," I whispered encouragingly. "Let us continue the contest for now."

Bennie nodded. "For now," she said, and she winked at me as she bowed her head slightly before walking back with Pippin to her seat next to Mundee.

I could tell there were a few whispered words between the two girls, but what they said should not be told here! Let us suffice that there was still not much love between them when it came to my affections.

Fatty and Folco stood up again, and did their best to silence the crowd. "Right then! Let's settle down, and let Fastred show us he has a poem worthy of this contest!"

"If 'e don't 'ave an'ther trick up 'is sleeve," Samwise leaned over and whispered to me.

A smattering of clapping greeted Fastred as he stood up once again to recite another bit of verse. He seemed to have collected himself quite well, I thought. I did find myself wondering what he was going to do to prove himself worthy.

*"She (Again, he motioned towards Bennie and Mundee.) was a Phantom of delight

When first she gleamed upon my sight; (He took on an enraptured look)

A lovely Apparition, sent ("Wait a minute"... I thought, "I know this... but from where?")

To be a moment's ornament;

Her eyes as stars of Twilight fair;

Like Twilight's, too, her dusky hair;

But all things else about her drawn..."

By the time he got this far into the poem, I realized I wasn't the only one who recognized what Fastred was passing off as an original poem, for it started on the next line with someone reciting the next line:

"From May-time and the cheerful Dawn;"

Then a few more voices joined in:

"A dancing Shape, an Image gay,"

Then suddenly the entire tavern began to sing the last bit: "To haunt, to startle, and way-lay." *

He had taken a very old, and very lovely love song that I had heard many times during my years living in Brandy Hall.

Bennie and Mundee both stood up. Mundee was very cross and stamped her foot in disgust. "Fastred Brandybuck! Just what were you thinking?"

Bennie merely rolled her eyes. "Typical of you, isn't it, Fastred? To do pass off other’s property as your own...?" She turned her attentions to me, her eyes twinkling. "I declare Frodo the winner!"

The crowd was angry. "Toss 'im out on 'is ear!" someone yelled.

"Run 'im outta town!" another added.

Fastred began to develop a genuinely panicked look on his face.

"Now, now." It was the Gaffer again. " Let’s not hear talk of running anyone out of town. No need for such drastic measures."

"What?! Are you sayin’ that we should let ‘im off the hook?" Asked a rather displeased looking young hobbit named Robin Gooodbody.

"No, but runnin’ ‘im outta town wouldn’t do anybody any good." The Gaffer continued reasonably. "P’rhaps we can figure out a way in which young Fastred can repay everyone who placed their bet on ‘im."

Upon hearing this, Fasted looked even more panic-stricken. "I-I don’t have that kind of money!"

The Gaffer raised a calming hand. "Oi didn’t mean pay off in coins. Oi was referrin’ to workin’ it off. Most of these good folk ‘ere have plenty o’ chores they could use ‘elp with and Oi’m sure they would be willin’ to forgive your cheatin’ tricks tonight."

Once again, a low murmur began to make its way around the room. All the while, Fastred, looked as if he was ready to bolt from the tavern. At last, a general consensus was reached and it was decided that the Gaffer’s proposal was most likely the wisest course of action, for everyone involved, even Fastred, who though not exactly happy with the prospect of the amount of physical labour which awaited him, was certainly facing a better outcoem than the aforementioned alternatives.

"So, I suppose Frodo shall be consequently declared the winner, then." Folco announced.

Much as I wanted to win the contest, I found it rather disappointing to be declared winner by default. I started to open my mouth in protest but before I could utter a syllable, Merry broke in.

"Is a shame that there’s no one else here that could go up against Frodo."

"What about me?" Pippin volunteered.

There were a number surprised looks and more than a few snickers at my young cousin’s comment.

"No one who valued their money would wager it on you." quipped BraedonTook , who stood at Pip’s side, wearing a bemused smirk. "We all know how talented you are!" This brought forth a few more snickers.

"Make that quite talented!" Pippin bragged, not in the least offended by the ripple of laughter.

"What about Sam?" Said a small voice from somewhere in the crowd.

Heads turned as Marigold Gamgee pushed her way through the crowd. "Sam writes poetry." She was saying and the focus of attention shifted from her to her brother.

Marigold blushed slightly as she came to stand before us, and she threw a hesitant look in her father’s direction. I assumed she must have come without asking permission. The Gaffer merely surveyed his daughter with fond amusement. However, the look Sam turned upon her was anything but fond at the moment.

"Have you been pokin’ into my things again?" Sam asked in a whisper, in which I thought I could detect just a tiny hint of sibling threat.

Interested, Fatty asked, "What kind of poetry?"

"All kinds! Even love poetry..." Marigold proclaimed with a mischievous grin. It was obvious that she held no fear of repercussions on the part of Sam. "Oi’ve seen some of it."

Turning to my friend, I said, with a laugh, "Sam, you mean to tell me that you dig in your heels when it comes to working on your gardening compendium, yet, you write reams of poetry?"

"That’s different, Mr. Frodo. The garden book will be for everyone to read. But my poetry...well...that was private. It’s easier to write stuff for yer own eyes. And," Here he glared at Marigold, "it was supposed to ‘ave remained private."

During this exchange, Folco and Fatty had put their heads together and after a few moments of serious deliberation, Folco declared, "If Sam and Frodo agree, I think it would be quite permissible to allow Sam to pit one of his poems against Frodo’s."

It suddenly occurred to me that Fastred would most likely be none to happy to have been replaced by Sam. Wondering how he was taking all this, I scanned the room, seeking some sign of him, but when I failed to see him skulking in a corner, I assumed he had taken the opportunity to slip quietly away, probably hoping that he would be forgotten in the excitement of this surprising turn of events.

The familiar pattern of low murmurs, slowing rising to excited babble, began to repeat itself once more.

"Well...Oi don’t know.." Sam balked. "It don’t seem right...me competin’ against Mr. Frodo like that..."

"Nonsense Sam! I would be honoured to have you as a competitor." I argued.

"Ladies? What say you?" Asked Folco.

Mundee’s eyes sparkled with impish delight. "I’ll agree to the proposal.."

"P-proposal?" Sam picked up on the word.

I put a reassuring hand on his back as I leaned close to whisper, "Don’t worry, Sam., the winner doesn’t have to marry the girls." I laughed. " If you win you’ll only get a kiss."

Somehow my remark didn’t appear to ease Sam’s mind much.

"How about you, Bennie?" Questioned Fatty. "Do you agree?"

One corner of Bennie’s mouth had turned up in a playful, quirky little grin. "I’m agreeable." And this time when she winked it was at Sam, who turned even more pale, if possible.

Well then, ladies and gentlehobbits," Folco announced in a voice filled with importance, "place your bets, if you haven’t and if you’d like to change your wager, now is the time to do it. We’ll take a break while Sam retrieves his poem and everyone can meet back here in ...oh say...about-"

"Oi don’t need to go ‘ome for my poem." Sam interrupted.

"You don’t?"

"No..uh..um...Oi think Oi can recite somethin’ from memory." Said Sam.

"Are you sure?" Asked Fatty.

Sam nodded, then in as aside to me he added, "Besides, if Oi was to leave now, Oi might not come back."

"Now Sam, you wouldn’t do that to me would you? Leave me without a competitor for the second time this evening? I’d like to win or lose according to my ability or lack thereof, not by default." I laughed.

"All right, Mr. Frodo. Oi promise Oi won’t leave you ‘igh and dry. But if you don’t mind my sayin’ Oi’d still rather be anywhere else right now..." And with that he cast a forlorn glance at Rosie Cotton who was listening to Marigold Gamgee who was prattling on at an alarming rate about "how exciting" it all was.

So even though Sam assured the contest organisers that he could recite from memory , it was agreed to allow a half hour break in order that we, the contestants, might collect our wits and so that those who wanted to place a wager, or in some cases reconfigure their original wager, might have time to do so.

All too soon however, Folco was back on top of his table, calling for attention again.

"Shall we hear Frodo’s poem again?" Mundee asked, once the crowd began to settle.

"Is it necessary?" I asked.

"Of course it is." Was Bennie’s comment. " I need to hear it again to ...well...uh...reevaluate it."

"You just want the opportunity to swoon over Frodo’s words." Came Lotho’s snide remark.

"It’s a sure thing that no one will ever be swooning over anything you have to say!" Bennie shot back, eyes flashing blue fire.

It was agreed that since so much time had lapsed a more fair comparison could be made if I recited my poem again. So it was that I found myself clearing my throat and for the second time, reciting my poem.

I was more confident this time around, and was able to smile to Mundee and Bennie as I spoke of love, etc. (can't think of what word to use other than etc). As I finished, the room was very quiet, then one or two began to clap, and the others in the room followed suit. Soon, everyone was clapping and cheering as if I had won the contest.

Folco waved his arms again to gain the audience’s attention. "Might I have quiet, please? Thank you, thank you! A lovely poem, Frodo! Definitely a winner in my humble opinion."

Laughter rippled through the crowd. Now it was Fatty's turn to climb up on the table, which he did rather nimbly, although the table creaked slightly under the combined his ample weight combined with that of Folco’s.

"Yes, very nice, Frodo! But now it's time for our next competitor to step forth and recite for us!"

He gestured to Sam to come forward and stand next to me where everyone could see him (and hopefully hear him recite). It was at this time, that Merry and Pippin began to give him well intentioned suggestions.

"Stand up straight"

"No, no! Not stiff!"

"Make sure you look at the ladies."

"If he does that, Pip, he'll faint dead away! Look at a spot on the wall somewhere over their heads. That should do it."

"Make sure to put emphasis where needed. The girls love that sorta thing."

"Oh bugger, off, Merry." Pip gave his cousin a friendly shove, then directed his attention to Sam again. " Just act like you mean it. That is...mean what the poem is saying to them."

Sam put his hands on his hips and gave them a look that would have withered roses on the vine. "Oi kin do this wi' out yer 'elp, thank ye very much!"

Merry and Pip shut up and moved back, but not before Pip muttered, "We were only tryin' t' help...!"

Sam tried to find a suitable stance, then he closed his eyes for a moment, mouthing words to himself.

"Come on," Ted Sandyman called out, his voice betraying how much ale he'd already consumed this night. "We ain't got all night!"

Where upon Rosie Cotton took that opportunity to stand up and give Ted a piece of her mind. "Sit down, Sandyman. Sam can't start if you keep flapping your jaws."

Sam's face turned red, as the crowd cheered. Ted was ready to give a retort, but his companions decided he should sit down, and they yanked him down into his seat.

Mundee glared at the audience, until one by one, the room became quiet. Then she turned to Sam, who was now beginning to squirm nervously. "It's alright, Sam," she said with a smile. "You may begin at any time. Oh! If you'd rather recite with your eyes closed, that's fine by me."

Sam nodded, and opened his eyes. I don’t think he realised that he’d had them shut. When all was finally quiet, Sam began...

* "Sweet Hobbit Girl, a very shower

Of beauty is thy earthly dower!"

(I could imagine quite clearly which hobbit Girl he was referring to. So far the words rang true, sounding like something a gardener might compare his love to)

"Like something fashioned in a dream;"

(His face softened as he spoke, and he seemed less nervous as he continued reciting.)

"But, O fair Creature! in the light

Of common day, so heavenly bright,

What hand but would a garland cull

For thee who art so beautiful?" *

With that last line, he betrayed himself, for he glanced not at Bennie or at Mundee, but his eyes instead furtively sought out Rosie Cotton in the audience.

And it was Rosie who stood first and began to clap wholeheartedly. Then the room itself erupted in thunderous applause as one by one, the audience rose to their feet.

I’m no fool. I realized I had been bested, and I actually took immense pleasure in applauding my friend’s endeavour.

Mundee leaned over to Bennie and they conferred for just a moment before Bennie conceded to whatever it was that Mundee had asked. I could tell from the look in Bennie's eyes I was still the one that she would give her kiss to if she could help it. The two stood up, clapping. As Fatty and Folco quieted the crowd, Mundee motioned for the audience's attention.

"Both Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee have given us two very lovely poems tonight. Bennie and I thank you both."

"Here! Here!" could be heard scattered throughout the crowd.

"Who's the winner, Ladies?" someone else shouted. "I wants t' know if Oi won or lost!"

Mundee grinned. "Quiet down and we will tell you," she said. Then turning to Sam and I, she curtsied. "As I said, both of you recited very lovely poetry tonight. I'm sure that it was difficult to find just the right words." She cast a playful glance upon me.

Bennie spoke up. "Oh, get on with it. Let's give our kisses so I can go on (she looked my way as she said it) to more important things."

"Yes, of course dear Sister," Mundee replied, more than a hint of annoyance in her tone. She looked directly at Sam. "We hereby declare that the winner is Samwise Gamgee!"

The room erupted again in applause and I could see a fair amount of exchange going on regarding who won the bets, as well as hear a fair amount of grumbling going on among those who had bet on me.

Mundee and Bennie were helped down off the table and they came to stand on either side of Sam. Each one wrapped an arm around one of his arms, and they snuggled up close--which caused poor Sam to blush furiously to the delight of the crowd.

"Now, close your eyes, Sam, so we don't cause you to faint," Bennie cooed.

Sam didn't seem to like that idea, but he obeyed. As soon as he did, Mundee gestured quietly to Rosie Cotton to join them, which she did in a hurry, to the amusement of everyone.

Gesturing a bit more, Mundee made it clear what Rosie was to do with them before she spoke again. "Eyes shut tight, Sam? No peeking! Ready? One..." The crowd joined in the count. "Two! Three!"

Sam stood there, arms clamped tightly to his sides, and to the delight of the crowd, Bennie and Mundee kissed him on the cheeks while Rosie Cotton got the honor of kissing him full on the lips. For just a slight moment, I found myself a tad jealous of this situation.



Sam's eyes flew open. First they crossed as he tried to see who was kissing him where, then went round as saucers when he realized who the third person was.

The girls finished their kisses, and backed away, leaving Sam flabbergasted. Someone offered him a mug of the Ivy's best brew and he downed it in seconds, his eyes still showing his shock from Rosie’s kiss.

I walked over to where he still stood and offered him a chair, which he gratefully accepted. Rosie had wanted to linger, but Marigold discreetly suggested to let poor Sam overcome both the shock of winning as well as the shock of knowing Rosie had kissed him in public. I signaled the tavern keep to bring us another round of ale, then slapped Sam on the back.

"Sam, you never cease to surprise me!"

Sam blushed and did his best to shrink down in the chair. "Well, Sor, Oi'd not ever thought ter compete wi' you in anything, 'cept maybe gardenin'...."

I laughed. "No one can best you with a spade of a pair of pruning shears. But poetry? I never knew you to like poetry before."

"Oh, Oi liked it alright. When Mister Bilbo taught me my letters an' such, Oi 'ad ter read from some o' them books 'e kept in th' library. You know... them that 'e wrote wi' th' Elven stories an' poetry."

"Well, I, for one, am happy it was you that bested me," I said between sips of ale. "The heavens above only know what Fastred would brag about had he not been caught and won."

"So you believe Fastred would have won...?" came a droll voice behind me. It was Lotho.

"Hello, again, Lotho," I replied, doing my best to be civil to my least-liked relative..

"Pity he was found out," he said as he drew up a chair, much to my annoyance, to join Sam and me. "Perhaps I would still have my gold crown upon me."

About that time, Bennie sauntered over, ignoring Lotho as if he wasn't there. We began to stand up as any gentlehobbit should for a lady present, but she waved her hand and insisted we sit. "Congratulations, Sam," she said as she leaned over and gave him another kiss on the cheek. "I really must say I was disappointed that Frodo didn't win, but your poem really was the best. Sorry, Frodo."

"No need for apologies, Bennie. You’ve merely spoken the truth."

"Well, then, I was about to ask if you would like the honor of escorting me home?"

"Well, I..."

"Frodo has already offered to escort someone else home, Sister," Mundee said as she joined our little group. "And before you leap to the conclusion that it’s me, it is not. It seems that one of the other young lasses here was promised his attention."

As if on cue, Marigold Gamgee came forward that very moment, along with Mundee’s servant, Sally Underhill.

"Oi'm sorry to put you out, Mister Frodo, Marigold apologized. "But Father is too busy with his friends ... and you did promise me that if Oi had need of it you'd escort me ‘ome."

I wracked my brain, trying to remember if at some point during the excitement of the evening I had actually promised to escort Marigold home. At any rate, I couldn't refuse. Seeing the hopeful look in her eyes--not to mention the look from Sally that said 'you'd best be doin' this'-- I bowed low to all the ladies present. "By all means, Miss Marigold. Might I assume that Miss Sally will be joining us?"

"By all means," Sally quipped, a faint but impish smile playing across her features. "That is, if Miss Mundee don' need me... or you..."

Mundee laughed while Bennie sulked but a bit. "I have no need for you, right now, Sally." She playfully wagged her finger at me. "Now, don't be getting any ideas, Frodo Baggins. You did an excellent job with your poetry. I might need you to spout some more just for me at some future time!"

I glanced at Bennie just in time to see her bestow a rather nasty look on her foster sister.

Mundee then hugged and kissed Sam and I, (upon which there was another sour glare from Bennie), before purposely bumping into Lotho's chair (causing him to spill ale on his obviously expensive attire). Without a word to him, she disappeared into the still rather large throng of hobbits milling about the Ivy Bush.

As soon as Mundee had disappeared, Bennie’s grimace gave way to a charming smile, which she turned full upon me. Then, she hugged my neck. "I'll be waiting for you once you've escorted your little friends home," she whispered in my ear. "I'll make what's left of the evening worth your while..." She kissed my ear, (and... I do believe...no, I’m certain that I felt the tip of her tongue tickle my ear, too), and excused herself from our presence.

Lotho muttered something under his breath. I wasn’t able to make out if the comment was bout Bennie, Mundee, his stained waistcoat, or all of the above, but he was obviously anything but happy. Fortunately because of the large crowd, and the number of eyes watching , he chose to keep any other comments to himself and simply rose abruptly and left.

"Now, there goes a right proper gentlehobbit," Sam said sarcastically, while draining the last of his ale. "But 'e's gone an' that's all what matters ter me."

He offered to take Marigold home himself, but I wouldn't have it. Whether or not I had made that promise or not, I was not about to go back on my word. I could only wonder, with mixed emotions, if Bennie would keep her word...



(We’ve borrowed heavily from the classics, with a grateful nod towards those talented artists.)

* Fastred's first poem is in reality from "Love's Philosophy" by Percy Bysshe Shelley. His second attempt is from "She Was a Phantom of Delight" by William Wordsworth.
Frodo's Poem is from "A Very Young Lady" by Sir George Etherege.
And, Sam's piece is in part from "To a Highland Girl(At Inversneyde, Upon Loch Lomond)" by William Wordsworth . (Who, it’s fairly certain, never actually wrote an ode to a Hobbit girl.)