Here's an excerpt of my story, what do ya think?
Chapter six
The Wox
Loud cries were around us. Animals ran away from the loudest part. We both ran to the source. Strange lights were shooting from the ground and strange creatures were staring up through a hole and started to crawl out.
“Save us!” They yelled. Something hindered me to save them, though they were clinging on for dear life.
“Gregory help them!” Levi yelled. I just stared though. The weird creature looked at me and then suddenly the one holding slipped. I lunged forward and thrust my paw out he quickly bit down. I cringed and slowly started to pull upwards. His teeth were ripping down my paw as he bit harder. Grinding my teeth as I started to be pulled forward but then I saw Levi come to my side and reach his paw down. The strange looking creature smiled through blood red teeth at him and put out his paw towards him. As Levi and I trudged backwards, inch-by-inch the creatures hanging on for dear life came upwards.
There was a large yelp of excitement that came from in the hole. We pulled them out quickly, we heard whimpering coming from down in the bottom. I couldn’t stand it, hearing small creatures being hurt was not able for me to bare at all. I jumped to the bottom of the hole and there was an evil wolf. It looked as if it just had its lunch the ground being littered wit bones. “Would you like the rest of this mole?” I stared in horror.
“I may eat bird meat and mouse meat! But I do not eat moles.”
“No fox nor wolf that I have met does not eat moles especially Levi and his friends.” Suddenly impulses went through my brain. Levi was up there alone with the moles. I jumped up and low and behold only one remained and Levi was chasing it. Drool dripping down his lips.
“You won’t eat one more mole Levi!” I yelled and jumped at him. He was shocked to see me on top of him teeth bared and snarling. Suddenly the other wolf jumped up out of the hole, he landed gracefully like diving to the earth except landing on your paws.
“Run mole, run!” He ran all right but he didn’t get far, the other wolf pursued him till he met his death. I ran after the wolf.
“Wolfbane, look out!” Levi yelled to him. I snapped thin air, he was lucky and jumped at the exact time I would of bit him.
“Don’t try me fox.” Wolfbane snarled. His teeth glimmered white and with equal amount of ferocity I snarled back at him. Levi ran beside Wolfbane hair raised and teeth bared. It was an all out snarl fest. We all had our ears pricked up and were all ready to lunge.
“You made a fatal mistake hurting other creatures!”
“It’s the food chain the strong eat the week!” I growled loudly and distinctively when Wolfbane said that. Levi and Wolfbane started to force me backwards, both snarling and menacing. Suddenly I bumped into something, I was cornered, at my sides stood large walls of rocks.
“You’ve got two choices fox, first stay there and get killed, second come and fight and get killed.”
“I won’t be the one eating dirt today. I jumped and smashed him in the side. He fell over and I lunged for his neck. Levi was in the way. Using the same trick I did he went for my throat. I cringed as his teeth came near. Suddenly with an urge for life I rolled over. Just in time too, he looked sort of dizzy after that and I was glad he didn’t get me.
Suddenly Wolfbane slashed my shoulder open, I yelped, and then Levi jumped on my back and dug his claws in. I twirled around wildly but he held on grimly. Then Wolfbane smashed me on the side once more. Levi jumped off as I fell on my side. Wolfbane lunged at my neck. I slithered backwards and he bit, just under my throat right in the fold of my skin. “Give up!” Levi yelled at me from my side. I felt Wolfbane shift up at the nod from Levi. Wolfbane was ever near to the life-giving vein in my throat. I lashed out with my hind legs and started to rip away at the skin of Wolfbane’s under belly. He would very well have been gutted if he hadn’t moved his body.
I started to choke. I saw Levi coming up by my head he looked down at me then raised his paw. I couldn’t take it anymore, I slashed out at him and in a daze Levi looked at me then trotted away. Wolfbane made the fatal mistake of looking up and I kicked him off. Standing up I knew that this was a fight to the death. Never had I had to fight so hard, I smashed Levis head against the rock with extreme force he slunk to the ground whimpering and pitifully. I turned around just in time to see Wolfbane jump at me again. This time I was ready. He fell straight to the ground no warning at all.
He breathed heavily, “You wanted to fight, so I’ll give you a fight.” I turned around and saw Levi trying to stand up, but I made sure he would never stand up again.
“Now that it’s fair Wolfbane you can stand up.” Slowly he stood not sure what to think of it. I watched him slowly bend down grabbing something that was attached to his leg by leather something that I hadn’t seen when I first met him. I held out my claws as he jumped towards me and whipped out a small whip. The whip fell apart as it came in contact with the metal claws.
He turned around and saw that it was he who was trapped not me. “I see through your disguise.” I said, “And you are half bred not just wolf but a wox.”
“So you see that I’m no mere wolf, well let me tell you one thing that’s true I’m a scrapper.” With that he lunged at me and held out his claws. I ducked and put up my claws. I listened to him scream in pain. He fell behind me no breath escaped or entered his body. I laid down feeling sick, my head was throbbing never knew that it felt so awful to kill. I spat out blood continually that night and could not find sleep. With each crick from a cricket I became wilder and wilder. I thought I saw huge beams of light but found that it was only my eyes playing tricks on me.