((This picture's broken and I can't get out...))

6:14am yesterday I wake up to my cell phone ringing. In my head I think, "Who the fuck would be calling at this early in the morning?!" but I knew it had to be Sam...he's the only one who would call me that early. I was planning on sleeping in til like 7:30 since I didn't have to work til 8, but those hopes were dashed. He asked me if I could give him a ride to work, and I was kind of out of it but I know I told him I would, and he said he'd call me after he took a shower. So I fall back asleep...not even thinking that I too had to get dressed in order to go pick him up. 6:45am the phone rings again....Sam. I answered it and told him I would be there in a little bit, and threw on some clothes. Then my mom called and started talking a bunch and asking me questions...I told her that she knew I hated talking a bunch early in the morning and hung up my phone. I felt bad, but not really haha.

 

I don't know why the hell I started out this entry with yesterday morning's start but yeah.

 

I was reading part of a book today, and it made me think a lot...because the mother is telling her daughter that maybe she found the right guy at the wrong time, and that she had to wait for the right guy to come along at the right time--and to be able to know when it's right. I think I'm in the same boat as the daughter right now.

 

Sam would be perfect...I trusted him really fast (my stupid mistake). He's nice, funny, extremly caring, he notices the small things that change...right away, he's handsome, and he tries to be there if you need someone. He's the perfect guy...I mean, he does make some stupid mistakes but they're not something you wouldn't be able to forgive him for.

 

He just needs to get over Kate. That's the roadblock I'm going to be facing. AND that he's moving in August to Illinois. Why so far? Because he wanted to get away. But now he's scared to leave, he doesn't want to leave everything here behind, and doesn't want to leave his friends. I wish I had some say in whether he goes or not, but I don't...and I never will have a place in his heart either.

 

Last night, I was sitting in my backyard thinking at like 1am. I realized that I seem to always fall for the guys that are completly out of my reach....and this boy? he's one of them, because we're just friends--and that's all we'll ever be.

 

I'm tan now...after laying out for an hour today and yesterday. Woot. I'm excited for the rest of the summer...I'm gonna be a dark-skinned baby. Hopefully I'll get to go swimming down here more than what I did last summer. Hm....only bad thing? I can't wear sunscreen because it turns white and rubs off of my skin...I've tried many different kinds, and they all seem to do the same exact thing. Oh well...I don't burn anyways.

 

But I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready. I have to leave for work at like 4:15...4:30-ish.

 

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