((I'd put my faith in all your bullshit if it means you'll stay...))

I called Alan on his birthday (thursday), like I said I would. I'm one up on him now, because he didn't call me on my birthday like he said he would. Ha. I thought it was going to be a two second call, just say "happy birthday" and then let him go because I thought he would be doing something with his family or whatever. Well, I was wrong. We talked for twenty minutes (woopdy do, right? ...not for me. We haven't talked on the phone that long for a while), and I thought he would be the one to say he had to go but it was me....I had to go do homework. He sounded kind of disappointed when I said I had to go but I told him I'd call him this weekend. And yeah....

 

So last night, a few of us went to Buffalo Wild Wings to eat something. It was Jhon, Trivia, Mary, Alex, and me. Mary decided she wanted to see my phone, and that she was going to call someone...guess who? Alan, that's right. I said I wanted my phone back, and then she gave it to me. Joie called me, so I answered it. Turns out, Mary started calling Alan from Trivia's phone. She didn't get through the first time, and then called again. He answered. She was going to ask him to prom for me (we were talking about it earlier...and everyone thinks I should ask him)...even though I was planning on it this weekend or next weekend. I'm pretty sure the whole building knew I wanted to kill her lol, I was yelling "MARY I'm going to kill you!" pretty loud. I was pretty much having a fricken heart attack. I got up and was going to take the phone to hang up, and Trivia grabbed it and made a quick getaway. Yes, she asked him. He said he'd think about it.........I still think he's going to say no--yet everyone else thinks he's going to say yes.

 

I don't think he realizes how many times I've said I'd give up everything just to be a part of his life for a day...an hour...a minute...a few seconds. I would love to be the one that makes him happy...the girl that when he sees my name on his cell phone when I call, he gets nervous but happy...the one who can cause one ounce of special happiness in his life. Meh.........I miss him. I want to go down there. I want to be his girl....not just his friend.

 

Tonight....Perkins run at midnight. Maybe call Alan.

 

<?3 Nicole