Howdy Howdy all!
Well I got up early to get in some Yoga and print some pages of my homework so I can steal a few minutes at work to read up on it a little. I feel pretty good but I really need to finish a story to send in to the school literary journal. I am pretty excited about it and I really hope that they like it enough to publish it.
I was thinking about toxins and how the people and situations we invite in can be detrimental to our health and happiness. Toxicities come in many shapes and forms and usually we concentrate on the chemical ones rather than the corporeal ones. I say this because for a while I had an extremely toxic element around me. The more work I put into it the more it seemed to take from me. Before long I was drained and running on empty. I had no reserves for myself. Not only that my health had suffered and I was feeling every single pulled that the toxic element had siphoned.
My mood had plummeted. My self esteem and confidence were nil and I started behaving as if I was defined by the whims and moods of the toxic element. Then one day, something changed. I changed. I dont know what happened but I was done. I was tired, moody, in particularly poor health and Damn-It all I was DONE! This element had to go! It was either it or me and as low as I was I knew that I didnt want it to be me!
It took a minute for me to see the lesson in it all but I did. I felt used, I'm not saying that I was but I sure felt it and if I felt it then it was true for me. I felt silly, stupid and gullible, like a child. I had always been so empowered, what the hell had I been thinking? I know, what I was thinking. I let myself get caught up in what I thought I should want instead of really just digging in and NOT settling for what I already had. And what I had was not at all what I wanted and was truly toxic. I was wilting from the inside out. There are a lot of us out there who just dont know how to make the moves we need/want to make. We get used to toxicity, we get used to the bad elements and we bring into us and let it rule. We condition ourselves to not only survive off of less than what we need/deserve but to reprogram ourselves into believing that this is all we are worth.
Here is an exercise, go somewhere. It could be the backyard, the front porch, the kitchen or anywhere that is silent and vacant. Sit down. and just think about YOU. That's it. It may be hard at first but when your thoughts wander off bring them back to you. It could be something small about yourself. NOTHING NEGATIVE! Dont be sitting around thinking about how you could be thinner or taller or whatever. Think of how can get something that you want. Think of something you would like to do but havent. Think of ways to get the things you sacrifice constantly for others. This is not selfish. YOU deserve things just as others do. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Just take 15 minutes to think of just you. Out of a Whole day, 15 minutes is very very small. You deserve AT LEAST that dont you?
That's all for now!
Goddess Bless
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