Fromm spends a lot of time speaking on the difference betwen the having mode and the being mode. In the having mode, the main focus is on obtaining, possessing, consuming...individuals are defined by what they have and are motivated by those possessions (and having more of them!), which he also loosely relates to neuroticism. Whereas, in the being mode, the driving force is defined by your actions in the world: experiencing your life to the fullest (without a mask), relating to people, and being the truest form of yourself to the universe.

I happen to be a being type of person. Relatively early on, I've figured out what I wanted to do with my life in order to make an impct on the world around me. I am now in chiropractic school and I feel that for me this is the best method of accomplishing that goal. I am very passionate about helping people, which I've always strived for. I have also always been a people-person, very social, no concept of personal "bubble," just ask any of my friends. For whatever reason, I've always yearned for the simplest of human contact. In my case, I best respond to touch; I am very tactile, hands-on, which makes sense in my chosen profession. Beside my professional life, the remainder of time I spend around great people whom I love dearly and who add so much worth to this existence. Beside my "real" family, my friends have become a surrogate family whom I at many times feel closer to than my blood relatives. Blood isn't necessarily thicker than water! My boyfriend, who is my partner in life, is a firm supporter in the life that I live. Just the same as me, he focuses his life on being. The important things in our life are not things! We place a lot of importance on spending time and experiencing meaningful things together as well as with other people. We do not feel the need to spend large sums of money to express how much we love each other because at the end of the day the money runs out much quicker than true love.

Before I work myself into a frenzy over that, I want to mention the exact opposite. I will leave the names out of this story because they aren't necessary, but it is someone who grew up in the same household as me for over 20 years. I do want to preface this by saying that with this person I no longer have a very good relationship as a result of a series of events, which I do regret. Neither here nor there, she is in the process of eagerly awaiting her wedding date, which is a joyous occassion for most people as it is for her. In the time spent planning and preparing for her big day, she has worked herself as well as anyone she knows into a frenzy due to her slightly neurotic behavior (not even taking into account her impending marriage). While listening to her many stories about all of the preparations, one of those on the list is the wedding registry, which is a nice way of asking people to buy you the gifts you actually want and will use, so that your guests do not feel that they have to reinvent the wheel. She and her fiancee had spent an entire day at a 9-story Macy's picking through the large inventory and choosing their registry items. The other day she mentioned one of those items on the list, which is a dinning set. She proceeded to explain that she'd picked a casual as well as a formal set. My jaw dropped! Now, why would you feel the need to do that? Is it truly necessary outside of hosting royalty on a regular basis? Doubtful! What went beyond that is that her formal dinning set is designer (whose name she wasn't even able to pronounce) and is entirely too expensive! It just seems to be a case of status, defining yourself by what you have and how others will perceive you as a result of what you have. The sheer idea of that makes me slightly sickening.

I do find myself constantly asking the question "why?" Maybe the answer is what makes the two of us so different. I do not feel the need to define myself by material standards. At the same time, what someone else's perception of me may be depends entirely on the person judging me. I do not place enough importance on others' impression of me because I do not have any control of how my reality may reflect in another's life. Consequently, I wish nothing more than to live my life in accordance to my beliefs and ideals regardless of how they may transpire to other people. I believe in being the best version of myself that I can possibly achieve at any given time and that's is the way I will spend the rest of my life living!

Thank you for listening, Universe! May your season be blessed manyfold!