I haven't vacuumed in a while, quite honestly because I don't give a shit. I started to vacuum and saw the letter S and then the L and I stopped. I thought I got rid of it. These reminders are stabbing me. I'm probably going to have to get an area rug... but that just makes me feel like i'm hiding more of my life. I'm sick of hiding. I'm sick of not wanting a bed frame because it's easier to tie me to the bed, I'm tired of not being able to use some kitchen items without having a flashback or feeling sick, and not buying a mirror so he can’t make me watch.
What is the meaning in all this pain, what is the purpose? He makes me feel like I deserve it. I want to tear things apart and shatter them across his face. But I don’t
I don't have anyone
