Continued and Conclusion of: Six Months in the Life of Pamela
I checked my e-mail last night and the first unopened message read, "Jack Sanders . . . Re:"
My heart jumped to my stomach as I slowly guided the mouse toward the link. The e-mail:
"I just really think its time to let go of everything. Using the excuse of
Analee to talk to him is just not going to work anymore. I wish that
everything goes well for you and Analee but Jack has a new life now and
he thinks of Analee from time to time but Jack knows as well as me that I
wouldn't want to explain the situation of you and him to our kids one
day!
I'm not trying to be rude but I'm just trying to let you see it from my
point of view. Then if you and Jack start talking again as friends you
will start to miss him even though your not going to say it and I just don't
think its healthy even though you think it is sometimes to just
rekindle the past. I really just don't appreciate the last e-mail that you wrote him
either and I've tried to like you and say this its all okay but after
that one I just really don't care for you and Jack to talk anymore and he
doesn't really want to talk with you anymore after you wrote him that last
e-mail.
There's a point you take it and you took it to far. Jack has had to
explain to my ex just to leave me alone and now I'm asking you to just leave us
alone and go on with our lives please ~thanks~ Jill"
So, I got a reply. She made her point the best way she was able. What bothers me the most is how she claims I am "using Analee" to get to Jack. I really don't feel that is the case. I do think that is the most difficult part of letting him go. He said he would be her father. He called himself daddy for months while he held her. He held her in the nursery before I even got to hold her. He is in countless pictures. I just know those first moments of our lives are so precious. And even though she will have no memory of him, thank goodness, he will still be a part of our past. The bonds we create during those first hours do shape our personalities for life. That is why I held onto their relationship more than ours. But part of our past is all he will ever be to us. I understand and accept that now because I now know without any doubt that he wants to keep it that way.
I had to show lots of self discipline and maturity in not replying many things back to her. I wanted to say so much. But, I realized all that is pointless. I did reply; simply wrote: "No Problem. Thanks for the response. Sorry for the trouble. Best wishes and Good luck."
Now - no more. No more profile views, e-mails, or phone calls. I am thankful for the situation because I have learned so much. I am stronger and wiser. It may take a while for me to heal, but I have moved on from holding on to any possible future Jack and I would ever have.