It's all so crazy, the chaos, hustle and bustle, commercialism, guilt, shame, and a never ending list of connections that goes along with this time of year.
This is my second year working in the Emrgency Room of a major hospital, and the only trauma centre for the whole province. In my past positions I became very aware of the connections made with what has become a less than happy time for so many people. In this job it is glaring, how bad it has become.
I removed myself, as much as possible, from what we refer to as "Christmas" 2 years ago, and each year I work a little harder to disconnect with this holiday. However, since I still have children that want to celebrate, I do so, and do my very best to enjoy every precious moment, despite the truth I have come to know. My daughter's do understand what my spirituality is all about, and do support me completely. I give back by supporting them in their celebrations. At the same time they know that as the years goe on, while I will always have food, joy, love, and sharing waiting for them, I ask that they we decrease our gift exchange, and when we give, we donate our gifts where it is most needed.
As in my last Blog, the place I work can be such a difficult place during holidays. Today is another. There are many unreported suicides this time of year, more than any other time. There are more attempts than any other time of year. Today there is a horrific suicide, with all of the blood fit for some TV show. There is a devastated family somewhere today, but with hope this also may mean life giving organs for another, a reason to celebrate, (I hope), for more than one family tonight.
This holiday we call Christmas, is all over the TV, every store decked out with music and tinsel, choirs, shows, commercials with promises of happiness and people "filled" with joy. I don't see too many shows or commercials talking about how to reach out for help if this same season is creating unsurmoutable heartache, serious depression, a relapse into addiction, or thoughts of death or suicide. Each year we see tradgedy surrounding malls, schools, highways and each year we quickly blame individuals for the events. Sadness has many faces, depression many more, anger several more, heartbreak surrounds us all. As often as I see a commercial for the latest computer, I'd like to see one that gives a message of hope to those who have little left. I would like so see less people come through the door as organ donors because of the inability to cope with the pain, and the pressure put on them to make a "christmas" that is depicted in the commercials, hallmark cards and TV shows. I would like to see this season celebrated by so many, be about something far more important than it has become.
Having said all of this, my own lesson to take home is to remember that I MUST celebrate every moment I can with those I love. I cannot take anything for granted, and I must choose carefully who I spend precious time with so as not to waste any more than is necessary. Life is so very precious, and so very fragile. Every day we loose a battle to save a few, every day we must celebrate those that we manage to still be a part of.
Namaste
Heather
christmas
