
"Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita
mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,
ché la diritta via era smarrita."
"Midway in the journey of our life
I came to myself in a dark wood,
for the straight way was lost."
-Dante Alighieri, The Inferno
Happy Wintereenmas, everyone.
Interview With A Dragon
"Old Scarface, they call me. Guess it's pretty accurate, but still, you'd think they'd show a little more respect to someone who's repeatedly saved their asses over the past few aeons." He chuckles softly and slugs his ale.
I must say, when I was told to meet the most venerable specimen of Draconis rex, I hardly expected the interview to take place in a tavern, let alone one so shabby as this.
"You were expecting a dragon's lair, full of gold and whatnot, weren't you," he laughs as I tell him. "Never much bothered with all that nonsense- we're supposed to be some kind of peacekeepers, not treasure-hoarders. Not to say I don't have a tidy sum in an account in Innsmouth, that is."
Times most certainly have changed.
"Yeah, not much good comes from sitting on a pile of gems- doesn't accrue any interest, and you're stuck watching over the damned thing just to make sure nobody gets any ideas. Fuckin' inconvenient. I prefer getting out and raising a little hell in my old age." Another laugh. "You wouldn't believe how many adventuring parties I've joined up with who're all trying to get their mitts on my hoard. It's the big thing nowadays, apparently.
"Kids these days! All they want to do is get the best of everything, now, now, now. No patience anymore. Used to be I'd have one apprentice every half millenium. Now they're lining up at my door, all too eager, no-one willing to take the time and make the effort to be a half-decent mage. Sad, really.
"Oh well. Guess the times are changing. I feel sorry for any poor bastard who takes on one of those impatient wanna-bes."
So now that he's given up training acolytes, what had he been up to in recent years?
"Ye gods, what haven't I been up to? Adventuring, mostly. Hearkening back to my younger days. Surprised the blue-eyed hell out of a few kids when they found out their ex-army curmudgeon was a fuckin' dragon. Funny, really. This one group had been going on and on about how easy dragon-slaying was, how stupid we'd all gotten, yadda yadda. I say nothing, keep quiet, and when we were all about to get gutted, bam, back to true form, kick some ass, and turn around to find the rest of the party has quietly shat themselves. Apparently they hadn't figured on me being so damn big. Seems like they'd been going after drakes; never even seen a real dragon before. Gave them more than a little pause, I'll tell you that.
"Spent a little time up north, with those really big orcs up in Svallund. Good bunch, really. Shame they had to retreat so far into the wastes to keep from getting slaved out. Met one- Reig, I think his name was- lost his entire family to slavers. Been leading warbands down south in revenge, and I can't say I blame him. One of these days I want to get some of your University fellas to interview him, get his story out there. Slave trade just ain't right."
mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,
ché la diritta via era smarrita."
"Midway in the journey of our life
I came to myself in a dark wood,
for the straight way was lost."
-Dante Alighieri, The Inferno
Happy Wintereenmas, everyone.
Interview With A Dragon
"Old Scarface, they call me. Guess it's pretty accurate, but still, you'd think they'd show a little more respect to someone who's repeatedly saved their asses over the past few aeons." He chuckles softly and slugs his ale.
I must say, when I was told to meet the most venerable specimen of Draconis rex, I hardly expected the interview to take place in a tavern, let alone one so shabby as this.
"You were expecting a dragon's lair, full of gold and whatnot, weren't you," he laughs as I tell him. "Never much bothered with all that nonsense- we're supposed to be some kind of peacekeepers, not treasure-hoarders. Not to say I don't have a tidy sum in an account in Innsmouth, that is."
Times most certainly have changed.
"Yeah, not much good comes from sitting on a pile of gems- doesn't accrue any interest, and you're stuck watching over the damned thing just to make sure nobody gets any ideas. Fuckin' inconvenient. I prefer getting out and raising a little hell in my old age." Another laugh. "You wouldn't believe how many adventuring parties I've joined up with who're all trying to get their mitts on my hoard. It's the big thing nowadays, apparently.
"Kids these days! All they want to do is get the best of everything, now, now, now. No patience anymore. Used to be I'd have one apprentice every half millenium. Now they're lining up at my door, all too eager, no-one willing to take the time and make the effort to be a half-decent mage. Sad, really.
"Oh well. Guess the times are changing. I feel sorry for any poor bastard who takes on one of those impatient wanna-bes."
So now that he's given up training acolytes, what had he been up to in recent years?
"Ye gods, what haven't I been up to? Adventuring, mostly. Hearkening back to my younger days. Surprised the blue-eyed hell out of a few kids when they found out their ex-army curmudgeon was a fuckin' dragon. Funny, really. This one group had been going on and on about how easy dragon-slaying was, how stupid we'd all gotten, yadda yadda. I say nothing, keep quiet, and when we were all about to get gutted, bam, back to true form, kick some ass, and turn around to find the rest of the party has quietly shat themselves. Apparently they hadn't figured on me being so damn big. Seems like they'd been going after drakes; never even seen a real dragon before. Gave them more than a little pause, I'll tell you that.
"Spent a little time up north, with those really big orcs up in Svallund. Good bunch, really. Shame they had to retreat so far into the wastes to keep from getting slaved out. Met one- Reig, I think his name was- lost his entire family to slavers. Been leading warbands down south in revenge, and I can't say I blame him. One of these days I want to get some of your University fellas to interview him, get his story out there. Slave trade just ain't right."
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