I just choked on my spit for like the 3rd time today.
I'm afraid I cannot control my saliva lately.

Subway guy finally made himself known again today. I don't know what to think about this man.
He's such a shy 19 year old.
Actually, I have a theory that he's just being nice. It would be lovely to say
"Hey, you're a cool friend"
but no, he has to be like this....who knows if he's really such a shy person. He's said things in the past that made me think that he likes this odd chica as more than a friend.
words like
"I really like you & want to get to know you better." That would signify that he does like me as more than a buddy, wouldn't you say?
he's a brave man through a text message let me tell ya.
"Sorry I'm so boring. I'm just shy & you make me nervous"
["why do I make you nervous?"]
"Because you're beautiful"
I don't think theres really much between us. Best to just move on, right?

I'm super stoked.
I have no idea why really.
I'm just excited. The "dance around your room&sing at the top of your voice&not care who sees//hears" excited.
I can't stop smiling & laughing at myself. It's a drastic change from my mood yesterday.

I really want to go for a run.
I've never smoked a ciggy in my life, but I jog like 30 steps & i'm about ready to pass out. I think that signifies that i'm drastically out of shape. I've been doing my ab workouts though. I'm back up to 100 situps now. I feel so good about myself. It's a wonderful feeling.

I want to get back into art. I need to find my inspiration in the simple things in my life. I always take those for granted. At the end of school I started on a painting. I never finished it. It just sits there. It's of a photo I took in Chicago. I keep staring at it, willing myself to pick up a paint brush & begin again, but I just look away & walk off.
"Art is hard when you don't know who you are."