I am sure the answer to that is yes in everybody's head. If anybody is familiar with the Plain White T's they will know this song. If not I am putting the lyrics here for all to see. If you don't like it, I don't care because I am doing it anyway.
What if nobody likes meWhat if I don’t succeedWhat if I give it all that I got and I still don’t got what they needWhat if I don’t get anywhere at allWould I consider myself a failureWould I be that smallWhat if she doesn’t like meWhat if I’m not her typeWhat if all the girls that ever like me are not the kind of girls that I likeWhat if I meet the right one and screw it upWould I consider myself a failureWould I give upI’m gonna keep shinin denied just makes me want it moreI’ll keep shinin each time push harder than beforeI can’t live my life always worried about what ifCause what if I die tomorrow then I never even livedWhat if they don’t like meWhat if they think I’m a jokeWhat if they act nice to my faceBut they hate me and I don’t even knowWhat if they end up stabbin' me in the backWould I consider myself a failure or would I fight backWhat if nobody likes meWhat if I don’t succeedWhat if I give it all that I got and it’s not good enough till I bleedWhat if I don’t get anywhere at allWould I consider myself a failureWould I be that smallI think that sums it up best for me right now. Life is going peachy. I was denied treatment for that experiment on bipolar disorder. They said I wasn't severe enough. Apparently you have to have these manic episodes for more than a week and be endangering your life. They did recommend I seriously get on mood stabilizers. Apparently I am crazy enough for that. The treatment they do turns you into a zombie. I don't want to change who I am. It took me a long time to get this screwed up. I just want the mood swings to stop. The irritability. Most of all I just want the racing thoughts to go away. I don't sleep much at night because of them. Always thinking and asking questions that I will never find the answers to.
