Let us not get stuck on how long it's been since I blogged or on lame excuses for why I haven't.
I may have mentioned before that I have a half brother "out there somewhere in the world", son to my dad. We are two months apart, I was born in January, he was born two months earlier in November (yeah, pretty shitty). I've never known his name really except when my dad told me once when I was small but it takes hard thinking to remember. Never seen a picture.
My sister and I got messages in our MySpace inboxes two days ago, the subject reading, "Looking for my half sister...?" We freaked!
Yup, it was him. My long-lost half brother, Johnathan. Apparently he and my dad made contact about a year ago and have been getting to know each other. All this time I have been seriously wanting to get in contact with my dad. I've been doing random internet searches for him almost every month, and one time I even paid a very small fee for info (which turned out to be no help!). I did find my paternal grandparent's phone number and have thought about calling them to get my dad's contact info. But I haven't found the guts to do it, because I know I would have the info and they'd tell him I contacted them and I'd be obligated to call him. And faced with the reality of getting what I want, I'm suddenly nervous about it and not sure if it's what I really want...
Anyway, over their first lunch together my dad told Johnathan that he had two half sisters. Johnathan wanted to know more but my dad didn't know what to tell him because he hasn't seen us for six years! So Johnathan got our names from my dad again and did some searching of his own. He found us!
What kind of upsets me is that really, if my dad cared, he could have found our information easily. My mom is listed. A quick google search pulls her up. But maybe he's not computer savvy. Or maybe he doesn't care. Or maybe... Well, I'll tell you this first:
Johnathan told me that my dad saw our myspace profiles and was excited to see pictures of us. It's weird knowing that he knows who I am now. I have definitely talked many times about how I'm afraid that my dad thinks we don't like him and that's why he's given up. So we have me feeling like he doesn't like me, and he feels like I don't like him, and thus we haven't seen or talked to each other is six years. Well, Johnathan comfirmed that I was right. My dad told him that he tried contacting us but he feels like my sister and I and/or my mom don't like him and don't want anything to do with him. I told Johnathan that couldn't be further from the truth. This was all through email. Then we chatted and Johnathan told me, "hold on, I have a present for you." He gave me my dad's email! But my keyboard froze and I thought it was the computer so I shut everything down without saving the email. So I messaged Johnathan from the ipod and asked him to give my dad my info. We'll see what happens...
As for Johnathan, he's a really cool guy. He looks just like our little sister, Julia! Only he has facial hair and a longer, more masculine nose. He's really laid back and goofy and introverted like Julia and I. Hopefully we will get to meet in person soon. I'm so excited to be in contact with him now. I never expected to be, but I really have a brother now... We both were telling each other how we already feel close just knowing that one another is there. Like he said, it's not like meeting any other person on the net who might reject you for some stupid reason. We're family.
So that's the big news in my life! Ta-da! :D
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