It was an experiment. I wanted to see what the big deal was. Why was it something that guys constantly thought about and talked about? Why was it constantly a part of almost every primetime television show?

 

I didn't really like the boy and I was way too young, but I was curious and he was cute enough.  He was thin, but not quite lanky.  He had played basketball and had one of those bodies that you could tell in a few years would fill out. He had a light complexion and dark brown eyes. I remember thinking if his nose wasn't so big, he'd be really hot. I often wonder why I chose him as my first, but in my mind he was just as good as any boy our age.  (I still need to examine why I was so jaded at such a young age. )

 

I was staying at my aunt's house for the weekend and let's just say my aunt wasn't the most vigilant at times.  She figured my cousin and I were playing outside. He was home alone -- his mother and older brother weren't going to be home until about 7:00 p.m. We started making out on the couch.  He told me that he thought I was pretty and he wanted to make me feel good.  I mentally rolled my eyes.  He had the same weak rap that most guys had. He put his hand under my shirt and started touching my breasts through my bra.  "Can I see your bra he asked?"  I nodded and took off my shirt.  I don't remember what kind of bra I was wearing, but I'm pretty sure it was either white or beige.  It couldn't have been too sexy, but to him it was.  I immediately felt something poking me in the leg after that.  He slid his hand up my leg and slipped it under my shorts. He touched me through my underwear and I finally felt a twinge of arousal.  Until then, I was detached, almost clinical. After a few minutes of touching me through my panties, he said, "Let's go to my room." I nodded and followed him to his room in the back.  He had a twin bed and huge dresser that took up most of the room!

 

We laid down on the bed and dry humped for a while, then he took of his shorts and underwear.  When I saw it, I remember thinking that it looked like a banana. It kinda curved to the side and with his yellow complexion it really looked like it belonged in a fruit bowl. He took off my shorts and panties and said, "Are you ready baby?"  I answered, "Yeah, sure."  After a bit of fumbling around on his part he finally figured out where to go.  That's when I realized I was NOT ready!  It hurt like a sum mumma bitch! I didn't remember women mentioning it felt like you were getting impaled in the movies.  What happened to the waves crashing against the beach and the fireworks?  No, that's not what it was like at all. There was a skinny boy wearing nothing but socks on top of me and awkwardly trying to push himself into me.  It was time to abort this experiment!  I told him to stop and he did.  He apologized and I apologized, too.  I put my clothes back on and told him I had to get back to my aunt's house.  He was kind enough to walk me to the door.  I never saw him again. After that, I didn't have sex again until I was 19.

 
   

 


 
 
kittylaughsalot on
Re: The First Time
I know! They never, EVER mention the pain (and how bad it is...)- even with the virgins who fall in love with the hero. They don't show pain, only wonder or lust or whatever good thing rather than the bad.

Thank god for me that someone warned me from real life.
deletedromance on
Re: The First Time
Yeah, I guess saying it feels like someone was trying to impale you doesn't make much of a romantic story.

 

 

kittylaughsalot on
Re: The First Time
Or that it feels like the pain will never stop while the guy looks all happy at your pain. Nope. Never heard of that in any movie.
KissAwayThePain on
Re: The First Time
I think well from my experiance , it is truely about being ready and I was .. I was lucky enough to be in love and had been with the guy 2 nearly 3 yrs , It wasnt planned or rushed or talked through it simply happened and I think because it was the right time for me in my life , there was no pain .. I often feel odd when someone says it hurt like hell I feel as though It is just as you said it wasnt right for you it wasnt with the right person or something that occurred naturally on its own time.

I have always loved every memory of my first time I always will its a moment in time that a treasure and I always will I am still very close to him he is one of my closest dearest friends and the father of our beautiful daughter , I try to tell all young people even guys dont rush anything , dont do anything because you think you want to know let life happen on its own course ,  I met a young man 3 yrs or so ago who was 18 and virgin we talked a lot and I am glad he was ok asking questions though it was a bit odd i guess to be adviseing a younger male and not a female but he was willing to listen and he followed the advise and waited till the right girl came along , he stopped trying to look for the perfect girl to experiance his first time with and he just let her find him .

Life is like that .. if we just stop trying to control it .. it will happen when we are ready and its time
deletedromance on
Re: The First Time
I think it is great your first time was with someone you cared about.  I think I was so cynical about males that in my mind I would never find that special someone, but I wanted to at least have the experience. Of course I don't feel that way now, but like I said in the post, I really need to examine why I felt that way at such a young age.

vomit101 on
Re: The First Time
I'm glad that you wrote this. I am 22 and I am still a virgin I just dont feel right letting someone go there yet. I cant talk to my mother about it she is still in denial saying I'm to young to understand anything that she could tell me. In yet she was 18 when she lost hers. I dont really have anyone to talk to about it. I'm just all around scared to death of it. I have had boyfriends but they would leave me because I was scared to let anyone touch me even to just give me a hug. I still jump when people tap me on the shoulder. I dont know whats wrong with me but I just cant let anyone get to close even if I really want them to.
deletedromance on
Re: The First Time
It's hard to trust and feel comfortable with others for some people.  Sex and making love involves feeling comfortable with yourself and feeling comfortable and open enough to trust another. It's good you didn't let anyone coerce you into doing something when you weren't ready.

 
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