That's NOT How to Add Spice to a Relationship!

This is another true story of romantic calamity.

When my man and I were deep into our courting stage, he would drive 90 miles every Friday to spend the weekend with me.  One of those weekends he had a craving for some hot wings.  He really likes the wings from Hooters and he promised me he only went there for the wings.  He even told me that there was nothing he could see or get from Hooters that he couldn't get from me except for the wings. 

I had never been to Hooters before so I was curious to see what the big deal was.  Believe me, there were no big deals there. We must have been there on the IBTC (itty bitty titty committee)  shift.  Anyway, to my surprise, the wings were EXCELLENT.  I'm actually wanting the wings as I sit here and type this! 

After enjoying a meal of hot wings with the hottest sauce they had and celery sticks, we went to the comic book store and made a stop at the "adult" toy shop.  When we got back to my apartment, we were very much in the mood.  Clothes were coming off and my man was doing his best impression of a horny octopus.  When his hand found itself down below in it's final destination,  I noticed a tingling sensation that I ignored at first.  After all, I was a bit preoccupied!  Suddenly, the tingling turned into a burning and I yelped!

"Owwwww! WHAT THE HELL!!" 

I ran to the sink splashing cold water down there to put out the unwanted fire.  My man was still confused and scared to death because he didn't know what he did to hurt me.  Finally I asked him, "Did you wash your hands after you ate those hot wings?" When he figured out what happened, the poor guy felt horrible.  He kept trying to help me by running to the sink and wetting a washcloth for me.  He even dragged a fan over to me in hopes that it would help.  Seeing his guilt made me feel bad so I started trying to comfort him by telling him I'd be alright and it was an honest mistake. 

After things finally cooled down we decided to watch a movie he'd rented.  Every once in a while he would just burst out laughing and end up apologizing again for the initial incident and apologize for laughing about it. (At the time I didn't think it was funny.)  When I gave him the pouting face and turned my back to him, he gathered me in his arms to get me to stop being mad at him and started kissing me and saying "I'm sorry baby" over and over.  The next thing I knew that damned fool actually had the nerve to try to start something up again!  LOL! (ugh! Men!) I told him that I was officially out of commission for at least 24 hours and if he couldn't empathize with me, I had a jar of Vicks Vapor Rub that I could use to show him how to empathize with me in my situation.