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darkseid

Inspired by Misterskank...C...

Tags:

self-worth

integrity

crucible

2 entries found.

crucible crucible steel

Main Entry:cru·ci·ble

Pronunciation: \ˈkrü-sə-bəl\ Function:noun Etymology:Middle English corusible, from Medieval Latin crucibulum earthen pot for melting metalsDate:15th century

1 : a vessel of a very refractory material (as porcelain) used for melting and calcining a substance that requires a high degree of heat
2 : a severe test
3 : a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause or influence change or development <conditioned by having grown up within the crucible of Chinatown — Tom Wolfe>

For me, there has been no more powerful force-of-growth-within than to stand before "authority" and admit culpability to transgressions..
Recently, I had to go to court over an issue that I was arrested for and after 6 weeks of anxiety and fear that the outcome would have IMMENSE implications on my current situation. The day arrived, and as is always per the case, I had to wait until all the other cases were finished.
My reputation must always precede me..
I have to say that there is nothing that comes close to this humbling experience..I've had to physically defend myself against people who would kill me, in the Name of God, just because I was gay or defending someone else over same. Although quite frightening at the time, it still does not come as close as going to court..
I've always had a Policy of Truth in these situations. To stand there and call the fire down upon myself before the DA even has a chance to do so.
Admit to culpability..own it without Pride or Guile.
This is the test of one's worth to themselves, and there is always a moment when everything stops--time expands--allowing you that brief instant to recognize the Truth in what you have done..this is TRUE JUDGEMENT.
Nothing anyone else says to you about you even comes close..but some try.
As I sit in the courtroom and listen to others in their arraignment, I see many--but not all-try to wrangle their way out of the predicament that they themselves created.
Yes, I have Pride when it comes to acknowledging my own transgressions, for that one inch of integrity is all I have or will ever have. It is the both the best and most of us..
To look justice in the eyes, without hesitation, and say "guilty" honors yourself in so many ways.

These past few days here on Mindsay have been a test for me to see who really is my "friend" and not someone who thinks; "I like him, but he's a sinner--let's all pray for him".
This test proved and honed my integrity and that of others.
By doing so, my friends have earned my respect and trust and protection..YES PROTECTION, for I've learned through all this that if they are willing to believe in me, I'm willing to put everything on the line to insure their safety.

If you look into my profile you will see that I've classified everyone as "family"
and they are..more than the measure my own biological family has "given' to me.

for that, I say;
"Thank You"

Christopher/Avatis/Darkseid

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iliketiedye on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

That was an awesome post.

It is an honor to be considered family ...... and I will classify you as the same. I've always wanted a brother ......

((((hugs))))

Peace. J.

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darkseid on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

thanks

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ubu13 on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

Overwhelming post, Christopher Robin (that makes you part of MY family!)

I can't fucking believe this would even happen in California. But I guess the foothills are so different. But I can't fucking believe that what you did is considered by law against the law!!!!

My only experience that even comes vaguely near that is what happened back in 1958 when I was arrested for being with a black boyfriend in Philadelphia. And they tried to shame me too, in the police station.

You are a prince of a man!!!!

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darkseid on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

"ah, shucks"

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ubu13 on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

truly...nuf said!

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misterskank on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

Thanks, Christopher.

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darkseid on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

I should thank you again

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sadness1 on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

I am smiling after reading your post because you are a man that has the strength to stand as you did and admit truth. In my world, the easy thing is not always the right thing, and taking responsibility is sometimes tough. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for being honest and real. Well done. (And ps. I think your biological family is missing out. Too bad for them.)

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darkseid on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

what an AWESOME thing to say from someone I don't know..

your world is no different than mine

thank you

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sadness1 on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

I once had a friend that told me "NOBODY can say to me that I lack integrity". He said this shortly after he tried to get me to lie for him (he bot a car from me and wanted me to say I sold it at a different price). We had just barely met and I had to chuckle inside because the last word I would have used to describe him was "integrity".

You have shown integrity by taking responsibility. I just think that is a beautiful thing. You SHOWED it instead of just talking about it. Wish more people could do that these days. Know what I mean Have a great day!!

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darkseid on

Re: Inspired by Misterskank...C...

Goddess Diana, Moon-in-the-sky..
Bless this newfound friend on this, your fullest light night.

look to the sky this evening and see the glory of Her..with bright Jupiter shining close by