Brain Dump

Yes, yes, I know, it's been ages since my last update. You people knew what you were getting into when you decided to show interest in what goes on in my life, you knew that I can't follow a regular schedule of updates to save my life.  Of course, if there were more frequent and interesting occurrences in my day-to-day, I'd probably make it a point to write about it...but I don't like mixing things up, so the burden of entertainment will have to fall on your shoulders, gentle readers.  Come on up/down/over to Jersey and wreck up the place, and I'll be sure to give you a blurb right here on my illustrious quasi-periodical.  I'm sure that's the big break you've been waiting for your entire lives.

Okay, enough ridiculousity.  Despite my long absence, there isn't all that much new business to report.  By leaps and bounds, the greatest event in the past few months was the termination of my workplace's general manager, who was replaced with newbie mgmt and the glorious return of assistant manager and professional geek Jon.  I tell you, there's nothing that makes the long hours fly by quicker than randomly spouting non-sequitur quotes from various television shows and movies, or vigorously debating the optimal weapons loadout in Resident Evil 4.  I tell ya, work is *this* close to being fun with that guy around, and I salute him for it.  On top of personnel improvements, the former manager (who thought I was on her side during the whole ordeal, when in fact I played Switzerland the whole time) had been buttering me up with frequent raises, which have honestly made this job worth enduring now that it's the highest wage I've ever made.  Of course, it's still chump change in relative terms, but it's a personal best, and any relief I can get from the constant grinding agony of desperate poverty is more than welcome.  Oh, sweet green balm for my near-fatal wallet wounds...how I have yearned for thee.

On to more personal matters.  The old gal and I are on good terms again, though she's got an honest-to-goodness boyfriend now, so our meetings and partings are pleasantly courteous and free of most fluid discharges.  Went to see Spiderman 3 with her last week, which would've been great if I hadn't fallen asleep during the big climactic clash.  Sadface.  Other than that, not much to report...still no luck picking up random sluts for brief bouts of satisfaction, though I admittedly haven't been trying to get any.  I tell ya, I can't wait to move out of my current apartment and into somewhere less stifling.  Once that deal goes down, I'll finally have the emotional and financial freedom to honestly seek a committed relationship the way I want to, complete with lavishings of flowers and free dinners and maybe a fine piece of blingery here and there.  Only the best for my as-of-yet mythical lover.

Not much else to report, honestly.  As I hinted earlier, I've been playing the hell out of RE4 lately...gotta get that laser cannon if for no other reason than I've never seen a laser used to kill zombies.  Gorillas, yes, and that was pretty cool, but hot laser on zombie action just plain wins.  I've also tried my hand at Guitar Hero of late, and I can see how it got to be all the rage with the kids these days.  The game is addictive, and there's the added motivation of trying to catch up to the skills of my two friends, who are working through the setlist on Expert difficulty with Hyperspeed enabled.  I tell you, they are not fucking human.

Okay, that about does it.  I'd love nothing more than to promise I'll be back soon, or that I'll update more often...but I think we both know that's a complete load.  In any case, I *will* return sooner or later, and I promise you'll get another screenful of my ridiculous nonsense on that most hallowed of days.  Until then, ta~