a friend and i, we had this conversation!

she is god, i am merely julia.
you have to read it from the bottom, and go upwards from there.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: god
Date: Feb 6, 2007 8:41 PM


YES!
WE DO!
we shall get together sometime,
and create a list of steps to revolutionization.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: julia
Date: 06 Feb 2007, 08:25 PM


we should start a revolution.
i love the sound, the feeling, and everything associated with that word.
it is a good, liberating, thing.
liberation--another good one.

we do not fit the mold.
it is a thing to be proud of.

we need to start a revolution.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: god
Date: Feb 6, 2007 8:17 PM


yes, i agree.
i have so much faith and love for humanity,
though i do doubt human nature almost vicariously.
you and i,
we rock.
i belive the both of us are both
the un-moldy type.
we are both without mold.
maybe we should start a REVOLUTION.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: julia
Date: 06 Feb 2007, 08:05 PM


i understand that feeling.
the world does not care, but not by nature; nature, human nature, teaches them to care. they ignore the soul, they ignore that part of their heart, and turn the other way. eventually, they harden themselves.
then, as the impersonal machinery works its way through humanity, they teach others not to care, and eventually,
no one does.
there are a few left--those that never did fit the mold of industrial social structure; their hearts don't understand ambivalence.
mine does not.
ambivalence kills more than hatred (though, they are synonymous.)
it hurts so much to see, i have a feeling that the world will keep spiraling downward.
people will keep murdering others in the name of a holy man that advocated the opposite,
people will keep waging war on the natural world in the name of industrialism and wendy's hamburgers...
it will not stop.

there is a part of me, a big part of me though, that loves humanity with all i have.
...and i don't understand how it works, but evidentially, it does.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: god
Date: Feb 6, 2007 7:56 PM


who ever knows, though?
that's the thing about life;
it's completely ambiguous.
the future is straight ahead,
but what will come of it?
society today is rot and it seems hard to change
because it's so easy for people to
sit back and do nothing.
love can't save the world
because it takes people that are willing to love,
and certainly there is a lack of said people.
right now, it's better looking our for you and your heart than ever letting a shy stranger in to find comfort and knowledge and this is because the detrimental human is more common than the beautifully intricate and loving human.
people are afraid to love because they've been hurt,
BY PEOPLE.
there isn't much that can be done, though.
you can't change people, or at least not easily,
and isn't changing people frowned upon?

eventually, maybe, people will wake up.
it will just take a long time.

in effect,
i guess it takes patience to see everything through.
it's worth it, though, i imagine.

it all seems just in one word: crazy.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: julia
Date: 06 Feb 2007, 07:42 PM


words will never satisfy the deep pessimism (yet sincerest optimism) I have for the world:
i see individuals, and i can see the potential for such goodness! i think people, as individuals, are naturally good, close to perfect;
but i see society, and what society creates, and it is so pessimistic; people will always fall into the trap, they will always fall to the machine, the hatred.
my feelings about the world are so mixed.
i used to believe that love could save the world, but now, i don't know.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: god
Date: Feb 3, 2007 4:59 PM


you can write a lot,
but it is never too much.
society is sad and drowning.
i understand,
i have been thinking about
how people in this world are inherently bad
and how long it will be until it's different.
how many good people will it take?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: julia
Date: 02 Feb 2007, 08:20 PM


i understand that, and i feel the same way.
i honestly can't imagine a world where children are not abused,
thousands are not murdered in the name of God, Allah, whoever,
forests are not clear-cut,
you know.
the sad things in life.
people want to do those things, they want to give their part to be the interchangeable parts of the machine (the political machine, industrialism, violence, etc.)...
and it's really sad.

i feel like the only place we have to go is down. and that's a scary thing, but this world is, no other way to say it, pretty fucked up.

all i can do is leave a legacy (which means what? the people i benefit from my legacy, hopefully of love, will die someday too; what is the point of anything, we will all die).

i wrote a lot. woops?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: god
Date: Feb 2, 2007 4:56 PM


i know exactly what you mean.
it's troubling because we have to grow up,
our generation has to change it.
if i may say so myself,
our generation is not that great.

along with that,
i feel sad because i have little faith in our generation.
i feel as if i look down upon our ability
to be something greater than rap music and sex,
and that feels almost inhuman.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: julia
Date: 01 Feb 2007, 09:11 PM


oh, me too.
i am not sick though.
i've been so depressed though, the inevitable, dooming feeling that doesn't leave, it just hides; it's the feeling that the world no longer cares about anything but hate.
the world loves hate, and hate alone.
it hurts me, a lot.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: god
Date: Feb 1, 2007 9:10 PM


yes, me too.
normally i am so not emotional.
i think it's because i am getting sick.
when i'm sick i'm emotional!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: julia
Date: 01 Feb 2007, 08:54 PM


i hate things not being right.
i've been so emotional lately.