Planned Obsolescence is the theory that electronics companies have sabotaged their own merchandise to fail after a certain length of time. That's why your cell phone will be great for several months and then suddenly suck. I'm pretty sure that this totally unfair marketing tactic also applies to my pajama pants.
I love comfort. I'm seriously its biggest fan. And that's why I love pajama pants because aside from being A.)Naked or B). Only wearing a towel, pajama pants are the most comfortable things on the planet. They're soft and warm and I like feeling them against my body. They keep me warm, and I happen to love that too. But after about six months most of my pajama pants decide "Hey, I think I'll ruin this relationship we have." And I'm like, "Gee pajama pants, what ever do you mean." Then suddenly BOOM, they rip a hole in the crotch. And this hole is never a small hole, this is a gaping hole. And I'm like "Dick Move Pajamas". It's as if the pajama pants industry is run by the biggest douches in the world. I mean there are terrorists and then there are people who manufacture faulty pajama pants. If we got rid of those two the world would be a much better place.
So then I end up having to throw them away, which is kind of sad. It's not like they died. Because if they died I could just bury them. My pajama pants turn into that friend you don't want to be friends with anymore because they got hooked on drugs. I mean, they'll still be okay and borderline enjoyable. But in the end you always end up dissapointed with them. And that's really upsetting. It feels like you have to find another reason why your relationship with your pajamas is coming to an end. You have to point out there other flaws like "Gee pajamas what's up with your pockets? If you didn't have them, do you think I'd just sleep holding onto things? What do you think I find things so important that I have to sleep with them? What's in there a schedule? Cell phone? Screw you pajamas I hate you."
And that's why I hate the pajama pants industry.
stupid
