The Worst Has Happened

Far from being laid off I got a raise. Not a big one but still. What a pain in the ass. New boss too - now I have to begin my plans over again.Thank you for your kind garriage proposals. I have to turn all of you down. I'm afraid I won't be getting garried - 1. I am not gay and 2. I don't understand why gay ment want garriage in the first place.Think about it - until this whole thing came up you (masculine) ass clowns had a built in excuse:AC1 (Fem) - "Why don't we get married? We've been dating for 6 months already!"AC2 (Masc) = "We've been through this, we are not allowed. I sure would marry you if I could...."No need to fear committment because it wasn't possible. I'm sure there are a lot of straight men who wish they had this built in excuse.In time you'll see I'm right. Garriage might very well be the downfall of homosexuality. Lets hope it doesn't take lesbianity with it too.All you butt pirates will now live to fear the words that you only laughed at your straight friends hearing: "If you loved me you'd garry me."